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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 108
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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Hi, I have two children from a previous marriage that ended,

Customer Question

Hi, I have two children from a previous marriage that ended, amicably, 13 years ago. When my partner and I seperated we decided that my younger child, Joel now 15, would live mostly with his father, and my older child, Lauren, now 22 would live with me most of the time, which has turned out to be all the time. This situation has worked well, both children know they've welcome at either home and appear to be quite well balanced and happy.
My problem is with my daughter. She has been working and studying on and off since she left school 4 years ago and intends to go back and finish her degree (2 years) commencing in 2011. Two things are really bothering me regarding her behaviour at present: she doesn't contribute to the household, aside from very minimal rent ($30pw), and does nothing around the house - she doesn't even care for her pets. When I ask for help she agrees but does nothing and when I put my foot down she says "Well you should have reminded me". Lists of chores posted on the 'fridge have had no effect. The other, much larger issue, revolves around her level of maturity for her age. She has a wide circle of friends but has never had a boyfriend (she's not gay) and seems to lack maturity in many ways. Whenever I bring up the subject that our situation is very labour intensive and expensive for me, she litteraly turns into a 3 year old, tears and tantrums. I have tried to explain, gently, to her that this situation is unrealistic and cannot continue indefinetly but she takes this as a direct affrount and becomes upset and angry. How can I change this situation so she is more helpful in pulling her weight and becoming a mature adult?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Walt-mod replied 3 years ago.
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Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
What is your daughter studying in school? What kind of work does she do? What does she do for fun with friends? What was she like behavior wise in high school? How is she doing academically in school? Have you babied her in any way as a teen ager or as an adult? What is she responsible for? Does she pay any other bills? Does she have a car?

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