Hello...How old are the children? In what manner are they aggressive? How are they forgetful?
What are the specific ages of all the children and how many children are there in all? How many adults are present with the children? Are the children ever grouped by ages?
Do you daily specific routines established?
I think that you should focus more on the positive behavior that the children are exhibiting. If they continue misbehaving, start taking away favorite toys. There must be consequences for their misbehavior. When the students do something well, reward them with a sticker. Make a REALLY big deal about good behavior. You can even have a sticker chart that lists all the children's names. In a given week, when children have received 5 stickers, at the end of the week, they could receive a special reward...movie, certificate, ice cream party, etc. The children who have not received the 5 stickers would not participate in the special activity.
You are going to have to focus less on the negative and concentrate on the positive. I am sure that the children do something great some of the time. Make others an example when they manifest the correct behavior. The other children will begin to get the message.
When the children do misbehave, just tell them what they should be doing ---and move on. If they are physically hurting one another, remove them from the situation and or remove the object that was causing the problem.
When they are not listening, it is time for them to refocus. Do not yell and scream. Have all of the children stop what they are doing and discuss the situations. They may need to put their heads down on the tables for a few minutes and then listen to a story. When things are getting out of control, you MUST gain the control back. If you are yelling and screaming and getting upset, then that is the model that they are going to follow.
Have you gotten the parents involved of these children? Are they aware of the behavior? It astonishes me that they can all be so disrespectful. Is there a ring leader amongst the group?
You have to take some steps backward and take the toys away so they can not break them. If they have to sit quietly for several minutes throughout the day because of their bad behavior, then they must do so.
To teach respect, you can continue to role play. Use puppets to maintain their attention. They can even be involved in the role playing. With the puppets, show them instances inappropriate actions..like telling, screaming, and breaking toys and then the correct way to behave. This must be a continuous process. Also, read interactive books about children who misbehaved and have the children answer questions about the story.
Are the children bored at the child care? Are there enough stimulating activities to keep them engaged or do they just eat, sleep, and play? For the age of the children that you have to watch, every day must be carefully planned out as well so they they are always busy.
For your older daughter, you must impose consequences when she misbehaves and lies. Take her cell phone away for a while. Who gives her money for the provocative clothes? Tell her that if her behavior does not improve then she will have to live with her Dad. Maybe she really should!!! Tell her that you demand respect from her and she must abide by the rules of the house. You are allowing her to run over you in a fashion like the daycare children who are in control. Although I do not know you personally, you are probably the kindest woman in the world but you are being taken advantage of by your older daughter and the daycare children. Do you personally have a lot of self esteem? You must gather the strength to set limits in all areas of your life. You seem to have a very caring and nurturing disposition. Have you ever thought about counseling for yourself? Somewhere along the line, you have become the victim. The daycare kids are in control, your oldest daughter is in control, and I am wondering if your ex husband was in control as well. Reassess the problems in your life. Focus on the aspects that you can change and control. Additionally, with your younger daughter, she should be monitored by a physician. Overweight children around her age are at higher risks for diabetes. She should have some lab work done (blood tests) and her thyroid checked. There may be an underlying condition besides her affinity toward food.
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Hi..good to hear from you again. How long has your daughter felt this way toward her father? What is the relationship normally like between your oldest daughter and her father?