How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Keane Your Own Question

Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1714
Experience:  Parenting Workshops, Teacher, PHD Clinical Psychology, 30 yrs. Exp. 4 Children
14832673
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Dr. Keane is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have a 16 year old daughter who live with her mother in Michigan.

Customer Question

I have a 16 year old daughter who live with her mother in Michigan. Her mother can not handle her any more. She refuses to listen to her mother ans stepfather. We have come to the aggrement of sending her here with me in New Jersey. She is refusing to go. She say she will run away, cause a scene at the airport, drop out of school. She has been caught doing drugs, drinking. She cuts school. Stays out all night sometimes and doesn't answer her phone. We all agree she needs to move and get away from the bad element she is around. How do we get her to move with all of her threats.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.

Dr. Keane :

Hi, I can help you today

Dr. Keane :

right now your daughter is trying to exert herself by letting you know she can cause a fuss and do what she wants . What has been done before the decision to send her to NJ? Did she have any therapy?

Customer :

yes she refuses to talk

Customer :

we have tried everything

Dr. Keane :

It's unfortunate that this behavior has gotten this far without any intervention. She has what she feels is "power" in that she knows she can put up a good fight on her own behalf. At this point you may have to stop trying to get her to come live with you and get tough with her behavior. Even if her drug use and drinking is minimal, she is "using", find a rehab and get her admitted. If you do this at 16 you have the authority. If you wait and try to reason with her you'll get nowhere and she'll be more out of control. It's tough love but it may be necessary. I know this is a tough decision to make but if you don't do something drastic now she will only continue to spiral downwards. This behavior isn't on that just came on, she needs help. This is tough love and once she is 18 you will not have the power to get her help so now is the best time to face this and do something about it. Bringing her to NJ is not the answer.

Customer :

I agree with the tough love. How ever her mother has tried to be tough but she still doesn't listen. I do know she doesn't get away with this behavior when she is around me. Coming here to NJ is our last resort. She needs to go to school but refuses to stay away from the bad element. By removing her removes the bad element.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    19
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
 
 
 

Related Parenting Questions

Chat Now With A Parenting Counselor
Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane
64 Satisfied Customers
Parenting Workshops, Teacher, PHD Clinical Psychology, 30 yrs. Exp. 4 Children