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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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I have a 14-yr-old son who is becoming very casual about lying

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A $5.00 "tip" will be added upon acceptance of the answer.<br /><br />I have a 14-yr-old son who is becoming very casual about lying when it comes to saying whether or not he has finished his homework or chores. When he is busted, he does not seem to be very alarmed and continues to not take his responsibilities seriously. His mother and I have to stay on top of him almost constantly and really work hard to get him to do the most basic things "the right way." For example, he feeds the dogs and cats nightly, but he continues to avoid 'remembering' to refill their water dish, even though it is written down for him on an animal feeding checklist. I'm sure mush of this is just because he's a typical teen, but it still concerns me. Any suggestions? We are a gentle family and would like positive suggestions (instead of harsh punishments, which don't seem to work on him anyway...we've tried taking things away from him and he just doesn't seem to care).

Your son seems to need more motivation to complete tasks. Since you desire to focus more on positive aspects being a gentle family, then you should reward your son when he exhibits desired behaviors without your telling him repeatedly and nagging him.

 

Focusing on what your son is not doing right obviously has no effect on him. So you must flip the script and really praise him for doing what is right. Maybe increase his allowance. Possibly buy him a new computer game or DVD after he has a good week of completing tasks. You must be consistent though. This process will not happen over night. Your son may be stubborn at first to change his ways. If you have another child, you could implement the same plan with that child.

 

Your main goal is to reduce the undesired behaviors and replace them with desired behaviors. Constantly remind your son when he has wronged and allow him to say what should have been done.

 

I hope that this has helped. If so, please ACCEPT so that I may be paid for my efforts. If you need further assistance, please let me know. Have a great evening!!!

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