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Ask Cher Your Own Question

Cher, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 87
Experience:  Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2
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I am divorced (twice) and my daughter (13)from the second marriag

Customer Question

I am divorced (twice) and my daughter (13)from the second marriage refuses
to visit my children from my first marriage. Also she does not want to see my sister (her aunt). I suspect that her mother, my second ex-wife speak badly about my other kids and my family. As a result my daughter refused to attend wedding in my family, Thanksgiving or Christmas dinners. My kids from the first marriage (25 and 28) are kind and generous to her.

How can I convince her that it is important to me as her father to spend time a few times per year with all my children together????

I am thinking of withdrawing my financial support for her skiing vacation or summer fun if she does not change her behaviour.

Youradvice will be very appreciated!
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Bonnie replied 6 years ago.
Hello, I would like to comment on your dilemma but have a few questions. How much time do you spend with your 13 years old daughter and how is your relationship with her one-on-one?. How long have you been divorced (second time)? Is she used to having you all to herself?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I sent you my answers few days ago and did not hear from you.....

Expert:  Bonnie replied 6 years ago.
Please place your answer here because when you start a new page I do not know it is for me unless you write: FOR Bonnie.....
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
I sent you my responses. Here are they again:
I spend 4-5 days per week...court approved 2 days. Since she goes to school we spend 2-4 hours per day except evey other Sunday ()8 hours).

When together we have lot of fun and very long relationship

I am divorced 10 years. Since I see my other kids 1 time or less per month she indeed has me for herself.

What I would wish is to see my all children together 4 times per year (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and my Birthday).

She wants a bike now for Christmas. Can I tell her that she will get it if she agrees to see my kids as above. That would be a sort of contract with her.

Expert:  Bonnie replied 6 years ago.
I am sorry this is taking so long. Will reply soon.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.

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