Thank you for contacting JustAnswer.
I am sorry to hear about the problems that you are experiencing with your daughter. Thank you for your question about discipline. Keep in mind that any behavior that gets attention is likely to continue happening. It has been called the law of the soggy potato chip in that if a child thinks that she has a choice between a soggy potato chip or no chip at all, she will choose the soggy chip. If your child feels that she has the choice between negative attention or no attention at all, she will choose the negative attention and so she will act out until she gets it. The only way for this pattern to stop is to begin to catch the good behaviors and reward them with attention, and to calmly and matter of factly give consequences for the negative behaviors with as little attention as possible. This means no yelling, spanking or lecturing, just firmly giving a consequence which might be time out or the loss of a toy or privilege. A very good book on this subject is Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes: A Family Peace Plan by Cynthia Whitham MSW. The more consistent you become with this positive parenting, the more secure your child will begin to feel and the more her behavior should improve. I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.