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Ask Lori Gephart Your Own Question

Lori Gephart
Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  20 years of experience as a Psychologist and Parenting Coach. Parent of 2 grown children.
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My 10 year old has was caught going on line and looking at

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My 10 year old has was caught going on line and looking at adult content. He's too embarced to talk about it. He knows that he is not aloud to but got caught. How should I handle this?

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I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing with your son. My first question would be if this is a first time occurrence or if there has been a pattern of such behavior. If this is a pattern then I would be more concerned. However, if this is an isolated incident it is less of a problem. It would be helpful for either you or his father to calmly explain that certain information is for adults only and that this is in part because it can be confusing and overwhelming for children. You can invite him to ask either of you questions about anything that he does not understand and offer books that are appropriate for children to explain anything that he may be interested in. The more calm you remain the easier this will be for him. I would also suggest that you consider putting a password XXXXX the iPhone and block the computer to prevent this in the future. There are many options to give you controls for the internet. Placing the computer in a place where it is in view of other members of the family can help deter problems, as can keeping smart phones unavailable to children. If you feel that he stumbled on the site accidentally then a consequence may not be needed. However, if this seemed to be intentional then perhaps a week of no electronics could be reasonable.

 

Please let me know if I can help further.

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
This occured once about 2 years ago when he had a friend come over and they used the computer together. It has not occured since then. It was with the computer, which is password XXXXX since then.
Thank you for the additional information. It sounds as if there may be some curiosity here. Offering age appropriate books could be helpful with this. I am glad to hear that you have protected the computer. These days smart phones require the same attention in order to keep them safe for children as well.
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