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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1467
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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I have a 7 year old child that succeeds to pick up skills very

Resolved Question:

I have a 7 year old child that succeeds to pick up skills very easily with very little effort. He is good in school and plays soccer and hockey he easily make friends and is popular in his school.
This spring when the soccer season started I noticed that he was not putting forth much effort and was more interested in socializing with his team mates but I thought it was because he was no longer interested in the activity. Now hockey season is in full swing which is his favourite sport and again very little effort is given. Athough his skills are top notch, you wouldn't notice it because he is not even in the play and he plays centre for his house legue team. He is trying out for a travel team as well and wants to make it but again no effort.
His marks are still top of the class but I am concerned that due to his lack of effort on his part and these will fall within time. I am very worried about him and his self convidence.
How can I help him see that talent is worthless if you put no hard work into a task?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 3 years ago.
Sorry but I don't see the problem. He excels in school and sports, has friends, likes to socialize, and is talented. So he doesn't take the sports seriously. That's ok. Let him be content in socializing and joining sports for the fun and not to be the best. He is only seven years old. He wants to have fun. So let him.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I guess my main concern is that things so far at school have come very easy for him without trying and as with sports I can see a problem in the future when the school work becomes harder he won't know how to cope.

 

Just to let you know that he does want to make the travel hockey team very badly but despite that fact he won't put any effort into the task. Being good at something without putting any effort into the activity is not going to get him very far in life regardless if it is a sport or school work.

 

His entire personality is very layed back, he moves at one speed; slow, despite any time restraints. I am probably making to much of this but I do believe a good work ethic will get him far in this world and I don't think 7 is too earily to start but my efforts so far are not getting us anywhere. Chores are a big chore to get him to complete.

 

He is a wonderful loving child that any parent would love to parent. I just want to avoid major problems in the future.

Expert:  Dr. G. replied 3 years ago.
Well the way to motivate someone is for them to feel the consequences of their actions. If he doesn't put in the practice then he doesn't get to play. If he doesn't so his homework then he gets poor grades. If he doesn't do his chores then he has to wear dirty laundry. Etc, etc. Let him be for now but don't make it easy for him to "coast" by. Let him get kicked off the team if need be so that he will learn his lesson that he needs to put in the work. Right now there are no consequences of his actions because things are going well for him. When he gets older he will learn that hard work will pay off. But if he doesn't have to put in the work and he still does well then I don't see a problem.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1467
Experience: Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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