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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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I have a friend of 20+ years, we both had daguthers a month

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I have a friend of 20+ years, we both had daguthers a month apart. Up to 1st grade the girls spent a lot of time together and became best friends. The girls are now in the third grade, same small school, different classes. The two girls are still best friends, but my friend (the mother) has seemed to taken on the Queen Bee school mom roll and now seems to exclude me and my daughter from activities with them and other parents/kids. I would never contact her again, but for my daughter, age 7, who is extremely hurt and distraught by the rejection. What is the best way to handle this?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Do you want to continue this relationship...deep down in your heart?
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

I was sort of in this same situation and had to completely end the relationship with someone who I thought was my friend. Our kids went to the same school and were involved in the same sports. But as we became involved in other activities with other people, I realized that this was the best decision I could have made. Your daughter will be watching everything that you do and she will in turn realize that you can make other friends and have just as much fun. It will take some time. It is not an overnight process.

 

It is funny that you said that your friend was the Queen Bee school mom. That is EXACTLY the way my ex friend was. She was always in the school office...behind the counter talking to the secretaries prancing around like she owned the school. People like that have insecurity issues and need other people to make them feel important.

I realize that I was not like her at all and did not need a friend like that. Neither do you. There are so many other friends out there in the world.

 

If this has helped, please ACCEPT. Enjoy your day. Request Erica.13 for further assistance!!!!!

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Hi Erica,

Thanks for the advice, makes sense. My daughter though still refers to this child as her best friend and they would be just fine, but the mom is making it tough for them to have time together. Do you think I am hurting my daughter by continuing to get them together?or do you think that I should just stop communicating with them an let them chips fall where they may? Even though that may mean my daughter getting excluded from the activities that the mom and mom clique set up for their kids. It's just a tough situation because I have to fight the urge to help my daughter make this better, but I do not want to keep her in a situation that may continue to hurt her by being excluded.

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
If the mom is making it tough for your daughter and her best friend to be together, then that should be a red flag right there. They can socialize at school, but beyond that...do not do anything extra. Start getting your daughter involved in other activities so that she can make new friends. She may feel hurt somewhat at first, but as time passes, she will be fine.
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