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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My children aged 22, 21 and 14 talk to me like I am an idiot

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My children aged 22, 21 and 14 talk to me like I am an idiot and with no respect at all. They are abusive in language if they are cross and dont get their own way. My daughter just graduated with a First Class degree but uses foul language at me if I try to ever stand my ground. Their father was a bully and swore at me in front of them when they were growing up. I divorced him because of his moods and bad behaviour and bullying so the fact they are now bullying me when they know what I went through leaves me very unhappy and confused. I have a demanding full time job and my children have always been the most important thing in my life (although I have to work now as I am a single parent). They see their father regularly and I am sure he just undermines all the work I try to achieve with them and lately they are telling me I am the cause of all the family troubles. I feel totally misunderstood and very confused to see my children now being very rejecting of me - no card or present for my birthday or mothers day or any small signs of affection or caring towards me. I feel I have raised monsters.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.

Wow...you must feel like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. I would suggest that continue seeking counseling or even change counselors. You can not change the actions and behavior of your children. You can only change yourself. When other people see a change in ourselves, then they may change as well. 2 of your children are adults so their beliefs are totally ingrained in themselves.

 

 

You need to seek an on going support group in which a group of women meet to discuss their problems and intervention and coping strategies of how to deal with various issues. The group would be led by a counselor or psychologist. I think that this would be very beneficial for you. You need to see that other women too have been verbally and emotionally abused and how they have dealt with it. There is no need to feel shame. A support group will lift up your spirits. Ask your current counselor for leads to support groups. Even if you belong to a church, there are support groups there as well.

 

You are a valuable human people with a lot to contribute to society. Do not let the beliefs of a few define who you are!!!

 

I hope that I was able to shed some light on the situation. If so, please ACCEPT. BONUSES are accepted too in appreciation for my efforts. Have a great day!!!!

 

Ask for Erica.13 in your question if you would like further assistance. Thank you.

proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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