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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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Hi I am mum to 3 - 22, 21 and 13. I divorced 9 years ago from

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Hi I am mum to 3 - 22, 21 and 13. I divorced 9 years ago from an abusive relationship. I thought removing my children from the negative homelife would give us a new start but found my older son took over the bullying once we were away from my ex and to my despair all of my children have followed his pattern. Only my young son lives with me, other live away. The ex since had an accident leaving him seriously disabled. The children now feel sorry for him and the two older ones now have nothing to do with me. I feel as though my major role in life - to bring up a family - has been a total disaster. My older son has never had a proper job and flirts with drugs and drink, breaks the law and refuses to conform to a normal lifestyle. He has barely any qualifications and is drifting aimlessly. I am blamed for this by my ex. My daughter just graduated with a first degree but is having counselling apparently because of me (according to my other children). My youngest is also becoming very hard to manage. I work full time and my goal has been to keep a roof over our all seems pointless:_(
I sense a great deal of pain in your discussion. You must focus on your personal self worth as a human being. You cannot change others. You can only change yourself. What I would suggest is going to see a neutral person such as a counselor, psychologist, or family therapist who can teach you coping strategies to deal with the myriad of difficulties that exist in your life. If you have health insurance, contact the customer service representatives and they can steer you in the right direction. You must be proactive and not reactive. Take the necessary steps to lead life to its fullest. There is still hope for you. Never give up!!!!
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