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proexpert37
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My daughter who is 31 has been living with her boyfriend for

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My daughter who is 31 has been living with her boyfriend for approx. 5 years. Her dad left me when she was 7, I remarried when she was 13 and about a year later she moved in with her Dad. He was bribing her for years. Ever since she has been out from under my roof she has become more and more disrespectful toward me. I am not perfect, I worked full time, paid for her to attend a Christian school and tried to be a good example and live a moral life. My Mother has mentioned to her many times that she should be nicer to me. Eleven years ago I had to quit my job because of severe Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue. I have been under Drs. orders to avoid stress for the last 4 years. This did not seem to affect her behavior towards me. She has never denied that she treats me poorly, apologized or said she would try to improve. I as well as all the members of my family do not agree with her shacking up with her boyfriend, fortunately there are no children involved. I went to counseling 2 years ago and the pastor agreed I need to let her go and try to find some peace and healing in my life. I wrote her a 3 page letter as did my Mom explaining why we did not want to have contact anymore until things change. This has been very difficult but I can't deal with the bad treatment and rebellion. Is there any hope for this situation? I do not want to start having contact for fear I will have to deal with more abuse. I believe she has now taken the role of the victim. Thanks for your input. PS I have been happily married for 17 years to a wonderful Christian man and have a good relationship with the rest of my family. CW
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
It sounds as though you are a religious person. Put all of your trust in God. He will work things out in HIS time. Remember in the Bible it says to..Be anxious for nothing. You have faithfully tried to do the best that you could for your daughter. You did your part. You will be rewarded with treasures in Heaven. You cannot change your daughter no matter what you say or do. You can however only change yourself. Release the worries and pain that your daughter has caused you. Try to enjoy life. Let your daughter go. She is grown and must deal with her choices even though they are not to your liking. God brought you to it, and He will see you through it.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX need encouragement to move on and know that it is in God's hands as much as I would like to change the situation. I know that I cannot change her but only myself.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

You are welcome for the words of encouragement. You have done all the RIGHT things for your daughter as her mother.

 

If I have assisted you at all, please ACCEPT. Thank you and have a great evening!!!

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