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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
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My wife and I are in the final stages of a divorce. She however

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My wife and I are in the final stages of a divorce. She however can not move out until after Xmas. We also have a 10 year old boy. We have tried to keep this from him but I'm quite sure he feels the tension. My question is if we can remanin amicable do we act "Normal" around him until she leaves? i.e. sleep in the same bed, go out to dinner, do things like parents, even fake hug. It wouldn't be easy but my ex and I would do anything for this boy. Just can remain married, we really have tried. Or would we be sending the wrong message? We do not want to ruin his holidays with a divorce and want to "seem" OK for now.

Also how far out from her move out date do we tell him about the divorce? He has no idea.

Please let me know your thoughts.

Thank you so much.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 3 years ago.
Does your son have any idea about the divorce? Since you are in the same house, I would gradually start doing the things that you have already started like sleeping in different beds and not showing affection toward your (ex) wife. Your son will begin to sense that something is not quite right. You can act normal around him as a mother and a father would but not as a husband and a wife. If you remain amicable, then that is terrific... being in the same house. You and your wife may want to start doing things separately with him. If you do not want to ruin his holidays, tell him after that holiday time about the divorce. The best policy is honesty. It will be very hard for him to accept. You may consider psychological counseling or a therapist for your son. He will need someone to discuss his feelings with about the divorce. It may be best to tell your son about a week or two before your wife moves out. He will then be on an emotional rollercoaster so really be in tune with his feelings and emotions.

Edited by Erica.13 on 9/26/2010 at 12:10 AM EST
proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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