How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask proexpert37 Your Own Question

proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
proexpert37 is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I am engaged to a wonderful man and set to be married in a

Customer Question

I am engaged to a wonderful man and set to be married in a few months. Piper, his 7 yr old, has a birthday party this weekend and his ex thinks it would be too difficult for Piper for me to be there. She then went on to tell my fiance that she still expects that they will have Halloween with just the 3 of them as well as Thanksgiving, Christmas morning, and other “family” holidays and traditions…because it is what Piper wants. And without me…of course. I’m on board with some of it but the thought of not having my fiance and husband with me on holidays etc sounds so extreme. She then tells him how upset Piper will be when he tells her we are engaged (he hasn’t told her yet because his ex wife told him it was too soon, we've been engaged for 4 months and have known each other for 8 months) and she reminds him that Piper always asks “when is Daddy going to marry us again Mommy?” Brad is stuck in the middle and is often defensive of his ex wife and her views on this. I want to do what is right for Piper but also what is right for us as a couple as well. We do get Piper for brief outings but in the 3 years they have been divorced, he has not had her for an overnight visit etc. His wife thinks Piper would not enjoy being away from her and her home (she lives with her mom and grandmother and shares a room with her mom). The ex does not date at all becuase she says she is too focused on Piper's needs. The ex also recently got very angry with him when she found out that an old highschool "girlfriend" of his had visited us and he was giving her a ride to the airport. She told him he was a jerk and couldnt be trusted etc. I had no problem with it. I'm so confused.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
I will get back to you with an answer in a few hours...early evening.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
thank you.
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
no problem
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

First of all, I would have a serious talk with your fiance about his relationship with his ex. There is way too much contact with him and Piper and her at the same time. It is a very uncomfortable situation for you. It seems as though Piper is being manipulated by the ex wife. It also seems that the ex wife has the upper hand in all of this and may still have some sort of feelings for your fiance. You really cannot change another person. You can only change yourself. Sometimes to deal with situations and to try and make some sense of all of this for our own sanity, it is necessary to seek professional help like with a psychologist or a church counselor. It is hard to deal with it on your own. Sometimes you need to get all of your feelings out and talk to a neutral person. Also, I was just wondering if there was a court ordered visitation schedule that would alleviate all of the ex wife's demands of when she wants your ex to see Piper. I see no reason why the ex wife wants to make it seem like she, your fiance and Piper are still a family. Seek some professional counseling. It will help you and make you feel better in the long run. If you have health insurance, they can direct you to who you need to see. I feel your pain but I wish you the very best in your life.

proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience: Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
proexpert37 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
You will be fine. Give things time. Congrats on your engagement!!!! Ask for Erica.13 for any future questions like this.

Attachments are only available to registered users.

Register Here

Edited by Erica.13 on 9/15/2010 at 11:01 PM EST

JustAnswer in the News:

Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.

What Customers are Saying:

  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Previous | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX

Meet The Experts:

  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • Cher's Avatar



    Satisfied Customers:

    Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2
  • Jennifer's Avatar


    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • professional_Alison's Avatar


    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L


    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • Dr. Shirley Schaye's Avatar

    Dr. Shirley Schaye


    Satisfied Customers:

    PhD-Psych; Certif. Psychoanalyst NPAP& NYFS; Memb.APsaA;IPA; Pub.Author; Teach/Supervise Therapy
  • Eveningstargazer's Avatar


    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

Related Parenting Questions