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proexpert37, Educator/Life Coach
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1374
Experience:  Teacher 20+ years, Parent, Expert Mentor
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My 20 yr old son lives at home and is a full time college student

Customer Question

My 20 yr old son lives at home and is a full time college student and works part time. He has been dating a girl who has been nothing but trouble since the beginning. We found out she was stripping for a living and had been lying to him and he broke up with her and after a few weeks he got back with her because she promised she quit. Is it wrong to tell him to either leave her or get out of our house?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.

As parents, you have the responsibilty to give your adult child the best advice as you see fit for him/her. Sometimes we must exhibit "tough love" on our child. If you did not let him come back when you kicked him out, what would he have done? He is having things his way now. You, as the parents, must tell him that as long as he lives under your roof in your house, then there are certain rules that he must follow or else find some place else to live. Tell your son how much you love him and be open and honest with him regarding his relationship with this girl. Tell him how hurt you are by this relationship and that this girl may just be using him. Females can be real sneaky nowadays and right now with your son in college, the worst thig would be for the girl to end up pregnant if they are having intimate relations. He will come around but it may take time. Continue to pay for his education especially if he is doing well.

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Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Any more questions and concerns that I can assist you with?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.



I appreciate your response. You mentioned my biggest fear, her getting pregnant. We have had many discussions with him and never fighting he just asks that we let him make his own decisions on who he dates and that he should be able to learn from his own mistakes. It's hard to accept that he would forgive someone who lied to him about who she is. I strongly believe she will return to what she did for a living because it's hard to go work for minimum wage after making alot of money for a few hours of work. She hasn't been working for a few months, telling him she's going to go to school and get a job but neither has happened, nor will it. He just doesn't seem to get it when she gives him excuse after excuse as to why she hasn't done it yet. He swears that if she returns to that and he finds out he is done for good, because he won't forgive twice, I could only pray. Its hard as a parent to accept that your son is making immoral decisions. I have to be patient and hope that he will come to his senses.

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Sometimes, all you have left is your faith but that is all that you need to sustain you during difficult times. My sons are not as old as yours but I dread when the girls start coming around. Please be patient with your son and continue to have faith that this will come to pass. I hope that I have helped you ...even a little

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Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Thank you!!!

Expert:  proexpert37 replied 6 years ago.
Anytime...request Erica.13 for any future parenting advice. Have a wonderful weekend.

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