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Bonnie
Bonnie, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  and pediatric nurse practitioner with 30 years of experience counseling parents.
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I have a 2 year old daughter, and one on the way (due beginning

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I have a 2 year old daughter, and one on the way (due beginning of October). My problem is that my daughter sleeps with my husband and I every night. I have to say, I am majorly wiped out and so have a hard time just moving her to her own bed, and the few times I have tried, she instantly wakes up and will cry until she makes herself sick. If it was just a matter of letting her cry, I could probably handle that, but everytime she will cry so hard she vomits. Any suggestions for a smoother, less tearful transition?

Thanks, Ashley
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Bonnie replied 6 years ago.
Hi,
I am afraid that the timing is not right to make this transition. You have chosen the "Family Bed" lifestyle which has it's good and bad points. To change that now would be very traumatizing to your daughter. She is already feeling displaced by a new baby and those feelings will be increased once the baby is really here. For a 2 year old it is the same as if your husband came home with a woman one day and said "Hi honey, this is Sara, she is going to live with us and be my other wife. I hope you will love her like I do". (If she were 4 or 5, it would be different). It is all about her age.

For a smooth transition, what until she is ready. You can begin talking about it. Get new bedding for her that she picks out. Talk to her about being the BIG sister who gets to do big girl things. Letting her choose between her own special bed and your bed.
Having a special bag in her room that will have a surprise in it if she stays in her BIG SISTER bed. This will eventually work but she needs to adjust to the new baby first. Once she sees that the new baby is not threatening to her (just eats and sleeps), she will be less upset. But this may not be for several months.

I just think you are trying the impossible at this time because of her age and new baby.
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