Thank you for contacting JustAnswer.
I am sorry to hear about the problems your friend is experiencing. I agree with you that to continue to enable this young man is doing no one any good. In order for there to be any hope of him deciding to make changes in his life he will have to face the consequences of his actions. If he is continually bailed out then there is no incentive for him to admit his problems, much less to do anything about them. His mother may have a difficult time in deciding to apply tough love, but this is the best thing, both for him, as well as for herself and for her marriage. It is important for the mother, as well as the other family members, to understand that we cannot change anyone but ourselves. The family may find this link for information about Narcotics Anonymous helpful: http://www.na.org/
I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.