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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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my husband and i have been seperated for over a year. He has

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my husband and i have been seperated for over a year. He has been having an affair for a year and a half. He continues to tell me I dont' know what im talking about. If I dont know what I'm talking about I should just keep my mouth closed. There were problems in the marriage obviously, but I had no idea that he would ever have an affair. I thought he was the one man that would never cheat on his wife. Oh well, my question to you is my 14 and half year old daughter keeps asking why dad has moved out. I have always told her it is because we are not getting along and trying to figure some things out. Last night she found a text message from me to the OW, the only time I have ever contacted her in this entire mess. She confronted me about it and asked me point blank is dad having an affair. I didnt lie and told her people make mistakes and part of healing is forgiving. She is furious with him....What do we do. He is out of town this weekend, probably with her... How do we sit down and talk with her about this.
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 4 years ago.

Good Afternoon,

 

If you have confirmed her suspicions, the next step may be for her to ask her father the same question she had asked you (when he gets back)

 

You would really want to remain objective in this. It is something you're dealing with and she should not be exposed to your feelings about this.

 

The facts may be listed (of what you know) You have told her that you and her father were not getting along. She is old enough to deduce a lot of what is taking place. You can let her know that you have been willing to address this issue with her dad as long as he is wiling to do so.

 

If there are details that you do not know for certain, let her know. Be honest. Sooner or later she would witness the family dynamics and make her own decision as to what to feel or say.

 

When her father returns, she could initiate the conversation with him. She can ask him his side of the story (the reason for him not living at home) With time, her anger may decrease. Let her know that being angry may not change the situation and that by experiencing this anger, she would most likely hurt herself.

You may share with her how you have been coping with this situation and your feelings.
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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