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I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing with your son. It can be a very difficult job to parent a child who is exhibiting these symptoms, despite how much you care for him. I would certainly encourage you to seek an accurate diagnosis of your son's problems, particularly since they are interfering with his functioning at school, with peers and at home. Focusing on catching your son when he does something positive and paying particular attention to this, acknowledging his feelings and his right to his feelings, and finding positive activities that he may be interested in could be somewhat helpful. However, it sounds as if this young man may be experiencing a great deal of anger without knowing how to express it appropriately. It is common for depression to be experienced in teens as anger. Often we see such symptoms when the individual is not comfortable feeling their feelings in a safe way. Learning to feel more comfortable feeling your feelings, perhaps through the use of deep breathing or relaxation techniques could be helpful. Therapy would be a very good idea since the therapy will provide a safe place to express feelings and learn tools to use to cope with these uncomfortable feelings. Medication may or may not be needed and a qualified psychologist should be able to help to assess whether medication may be needed or not. Exercise may be helpful to allow a healthy outlet for your son's anger. It is important to consider help for this issue before it may escalate to risk even more interference with his functioning. This points to the need for professionals to be involved. Ideally treatment should involve a combination of a psychiatrist to evaluate for the appropriate medication and a psychologist to help him to learn to feel his feelings in a safe way and learn to cope with them. It might be helpful for you to seek out a psychologist that you could talk to for yourself for help in coping with this difficult situation. Sometimes it can take several tries to find the right psychiatrist and psychologist for each individual. Good luck with this difficult situation and in the meantime remember to take good care of yourself as well so that you have the energy to deal with him.
I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.