Thank you for contacting Just Answer.
I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing with your stepson. You are in a difficult position as you are dealing with symptoms of ADHD as well as the learning and developmental disabilities on top of regular parenting issues. Keep in mind that any behavior that gets attention is likely to continue happening. It has been called the law of the soggy potato chip in that if a child thinks that he has a choice between a soggy potato chip or no chip at all, he will choose the soggy chip. If your stepson feels that he has the choice between negative attention or no attention at all, he will choose the negative attention and so he will act out until he gets it. The only way for this pattern to stop is to begin to catch the good behaviors and reward them with attention, and to calmly and matter of factly give consequences for the negative behaviors with as little attention as possible. A very good book on this subject is Win the Whining War & Other Skirmishes: A Family Peace Plan by Cynthia Whitham MSW. The more consistent everyone involved is with this positive parenting, the more secure your stepson will begin to feel and the more his behavior should improve. However, due to the ADHD and other disabilities you cannot expect for all of the behavior problems to necessarily be eliminated. You may try talking with the psychiatrist who is prescribing his medication for help with this as his medication may need to be adjusted. Also, he may be eligible for in home behavior specialist who may be able to help. I hope this answer is helpful. Please let me know if I can clarify further.