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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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hello, i am 26 year old asian men. i need your genuine opinion

Resolved Question:

hello, i am 26 year old asian men. i need your genuine opinion on what choice is preferable for me between having my own kid vs thru the sperm donor. I guess i've always wanted my kid to be someone w/great intellect, great physical, and handsome. i am just an average skinny type asian men w/lower than average athletism and strength. I am torn between these choices. i don't want my kid to be just an average, but i read something online that says we live thru our kids, is that mean since he or she has my gene, that's the way so we don't truly die? i don't understand why it's important for me the survival of my own gene. What's your opinion on this? Should i first have my own baby, then have another one thru sperm bank? they would both be my child. but would that be unfair for my own child that he could've had a better gene, better health, better look, better intelligence.. what's your take? thanks
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 4 years ago.

Good Afternoon,

 

People are in a way preprogrammed biologically to want to spread their own genes (like the rest of the species)

 

What separates us form the rest though, is that we can make a decision not to procreate as well as to raise a child that does not share our genetic makeup.

 

It is how you feel emotionally about the child (if you believe that nurture is as important as nature) it may not be a big deal to just love a child for who they are (either your own or an adopted or through a sperm donor) People are endowed with the capacity to love and have the ability to teach others they come in contact with. If it is not as important for you that a child is not athletic (it may be a daughter that you have versus a boy), and if you believe that you and your girlfriend can provide a steady and loving family life, then it would not matter where the child "came from"

 

Customer: replied 4 years ago.
what would you choose Dr. rossi , if you were in my shoes?
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 4 years ago.
I am not in your shoes but if I was, I would chose the option that allows me to share my love, time and resources with a child (regardless of how the child came to my life)
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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Dr. Rossi
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Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.