How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Lori Gephart Your Own Question

Lori Gephart
Lori Gephart, Licensed Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  20 years of experience as a Psychologist and Parenting Coach. Parent of 2 grown children.
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Lori Gephart is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Hello, I am 38 years old and have been living and in love

Customer Question

Hello,

I am 38 years old and have been living and in love with a gentleman for over a year. I am now 10 week pregnant with him. We both knew this could happen as we were not using any protection. He is separated from his wife and has 3 children (aged 21, 19 and 16). He is now forcing me to get an abortion, but I am having the hardest time doing that as I never had children and love this gentleman. He asked me to leave our apartment this week. I wanted to know what were my rights, his obligations if I decided to keep the baby. I also found out that his wife and children don't know about our relationship. He was leading a double life. He is a very successful man and is well off.
What can I do?
I am pretty depressed and desperate as I am writing this. We are both very well educated people and I can't believe this is happening.

Thank you.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Lori Gephart replied 3 years ago.

Thank you for contacting Just Answer.

 

I am sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing in your relationship. First of all it is important for you to remember that no one can force you to have an abortion against your will. This is your choice to decide what is right for you. From what you describe, this man seems to have been untruthful, most likely to both you and his wife. It appears that he is not treating you in a loving manner. To kick out someone who is carrying your baby does not sound like a loving action. Remember that actions speak louder than words. These are not respectful actions. These are serious red flags in any relationship. Remember that you deserve to be treated better, as does your child if you decide to keep it.

 

It will be important for you to check with your state to find out what the child support rules are as these vary from state to state. If he disputes paternity then you may have to arrange a paternity test. There should be a local listing for Legal Aid who could help you with this process. You may find this website helpful as well: http://www.americanpregnancy.org/unplannedpregnancy/

 

In the meantime, remember to work on taking care of yourself and give yourself permission to make your own decision about the pregnancy. Focus on healthy activities such as exercise, eating healthy, hobbies, time with supportive people, etc. Above all, make sure you give yourself unconditional love. I wish you the best with this difficult issue. Please let me know if I can help further.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/JA/JACUSTOMERbryjz898/2012-5-23_93829_me2.64x64.jpg Adviser Mills C.C.D.'s Avatar

    Adviser Mills C.C.D.

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    15
    15 years Plus, Preschool Owner, Teen Mentor