How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Keane Your Own Question

Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1710
Experience:  Parenting Workshops, Teacher, PHD Clinical Psychology, 30 yrs. Exp. 4 Children
14832673
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Dr. Keane is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

this is prob gona be a hard question but Im a governess of

Resolved Question:

this is prob gona be a hard question but Im a governess of 2 girls. The youngest is 4 and I am growing suspecious as to her fathers relations with her. How can I find out if something is going on???
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.

Hi,

What is making you suspicious?

 

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Well there have been a few random things like when I started here at easter she was trying to suck on her mothers ear. I commented bout it being really odd and the mother told me it was something that her father taught her to do. Few times we have been reading books and things and she will ask about the gender of a character and when I say its a boy she asks me where his balls are.

 

What really set off bells for me was recently she had a 3 yr old friend over for a few nights. The mother was away with the oldest daughter and he slept alone in his bed with the 2 little girls. When I went in to get them up I discovered that both of them where not wearing cloths.

 

When I had the girls in the bath my 4 yr old was laying on her tummy in the bath and made her 3 yr old friend lay on her back as she rocked herself back and fowards. Her friend was asking her why she did this and she replied "cause I have too".

 

I am concerned but I want to make sure I am not over reacting as I was an abused child myself. I know I am prob more sensative to it. However the activities I have seen are def setting off alarm bells and I dont know what to do cause I dont want to say anything unless Im totally sure.

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.

Hi, what you are describing sounds as though you are right, it sounds as though there is abuse going on in that home. This behavior is something that needs to be reported. If the mother is not aware of what is happening you might want to speak to her first and if she does nothing then tell someone in authority, if you suspect the Mother will not believe you or address the problem you may want to speak to the child's doctor and/or the authorities and let them know. You are taking a risk reporting but it is more of a danger to the children not to and it's not something you can let happen under your watch. If you are wrong, good and you'll feel better for having addressed the problem. However, if you are right you're saving a couple of children from being further abused.

Please click accept and leave feedback.

Dr. Keane, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1710
Experience: Parenting Workshops, Teacher, PHD Clinical Psychology, 30 yrs. Exp. 4 Children
Dr. Keane and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I know the mother will not even think that there is a possability that anything is happening. I have mentioned a few odd behaviours to her and she just thinks its funny. I feel that maybe I need to prob the child a little bit to find out if he has been touching her but I dont want her to repeat something to her parents

 

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.
Hi, Once you found the children naked in his bed you have a responsibility to report it. Don't mess around trying to find out from a child what happened. There is something very wrong and you need to tell someone. I would strongly suggest you go to the authorities and tell them what happened and what your suspicions are, they will help you. You can't let this wait. I know you are fearful of doing so but you need to protect the child first.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered
 
 
 

Related Parenting Questions

Chat Now With A Parenting Counselor
Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane
Parenting Counselor
1710 Satisfied Customers
Parenting Workshops, Teacher, PHD Clinical Psychology, 30 yrs. Exp. 4 Children