How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Jennifer Your Own Question

Jennifer
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
30853534
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Jennifer is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I read you response to the question about 3 year old pushing. We

Resolved Question:

I read you response to the question about 3 year old pushing.

We have done all of these things to the letter for several months, seemed to have nipped it in the bud and two weeks ago it came back worse than before. His teacher are very involved as well.

He is about to get kicked out of preschool.

Thoughts?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Jennifer replied 4 years ago.
Hello and thanks for using Justanswer.com!

I'm glad to see what you've tried already. That's very helpful. The important thing to think about is what could possibly be reinforcing this behavior for your son.

People (including children) only do behaviors that work for them in some way. There's something about this behavior (either the behavior itself or the consequences that follow) that is maintaining it for him as an acceptable thing to do. Does that make sense? He's gaining something and we'll need to figure out what that is in order to find a replacement behavior / reward that will meet the same need yet through more appropriate behavior.

I'd encourage you to continue what you're doing, but sit down with his teachers to ask them a few key questions. This process is called a Functional Behavioral Analysis. You can look those words up online to find several templates for those kinds of teacher interviews or you can just ask a few based upon my answer. Essentially, this interview always includes questions about three parts -- the antecedent or trigger (what usually happens immediately before the misbehavior), the behavior itself (hitting) and it's consequence (what happens after -- both immediately and long-term). This is often referred to as a-b-c. Ask about how the teachers respond, how peers respond, and if there tend to be certain situational factors that tend to heighten the potential for his acting out (e.g., feeling hungry or tired, certain teachers or peers being present or absent, etc.)

By analyzing all of this, you're looking for a few things... You're trying to theorize what could be motivating him to continue with the behavior (some examples might be seeking attention from peers or teachers, avoiding an activity he doesn't like, expressing his frustration, or even the sensory experience of hitting). The other things you're looking for are things you can modify to shape the behavior itself. Without knowing the a-b-c details, I can't offer suggestions specific to your situation, but I can tell you that in general things that I've done in behavioral plans include providing a child with some skills training on how to calm down and practicing use of an appropriate place / way to vent frustration (if the child is simply lacking emotional regulation and the ability to express his feelings), offering a squishy ball or directing to a safe object to hit (if this is a sensory stimulation issue), providing LOTS of positive praise for good behaviors and ignoring misbehavior as much as possible (if this is an attention seeking behavior), etc.

I hope I haven't overwhelmed you! I'd be happy to help you analyze what is happening once you've done the teacher interview. It may also be beneficial to have a classroom observation done if that's possible to get an objective view of what's happening. I hesitate to say you should do this since he'll know you're there and behave differently, of course. If there is a counselor who works with the school or another teacher who might be willing to watch for 20-30 minutes and take some notes, it might be very valuable information.
Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience: Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
Jennifer and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HE/heidi1107/2012-2-18_15325_Heidi.64x64.jpg Heidi LPC's Avatar

    Heidi LPC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    Licensed Professional Counselor