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Cher, Teacher
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 90
Experience:  Extensive Experience working with Children/Teens; M.A. Teacher/Tutor 40+ yrs.; Parent of 2
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Why would sisters 9,6,4 suddenly begin and continue to show

Customer Question

Why would sisters 9,6,4 suddenly begin and continue to show regressive begavior?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 7 years ago.
Anything happen in their lives that would be unusual or stressful for them?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

Their mother and I have tried and tried to figure this one out. As far as we can tell, the answer to a stressful change is "no." Perhaps it is worth saying they live in Iowa, in a small city, so crimeless people leave their houses unlocked. The three are girls. Of interest maybe, there is a another child - a boy - he is not showing any anxieties, or different behavior. Based on past events over their lives, it has always proven correct he will "rat" on them in a skinny minute - without any inquiry - if all three have been in on something. Thier birthdays are "B"-Aug/25/99; "G1"-Oct/4/00; "G2"-Nov/25/02; "G3"-Aug/18/05. That should make them 10y9m, 9y10m; 7y6m, 4y9m; essentially 11,9,7,5. Their mom is a 12yr teacher in an alternate school situation; dad(43), mom(42), & Ralph operate/own a 6 screen theatre; mom essentially works two full time jobs; all 7 of these people live in a small split level late 80s house, share costs. I pay their utilities. All three adults have BS degree. They have a dog the size of a great dane, but looks like a black lab, and one cat. This grandma lives 1100 miles away, but talks with the children once a week, and their mother 3-4 times a week. The dad's parents are 30M away, wife's stepmother/ dad live 11M away. Dad is maintained bi-polar. Mom will have a laser procedure June1 to eliminate uterine problem bleeding; it has been a low stress, adult discussed item. Mom's school per se is being closed, but she will be one of the four teachers establishing the new program. The kids know she is moving to a new school building, job isn't threatened. Each of them has their own area of accomplishment. Since B1 has always been small stature, he began Tong So Do 4 years ago, and has progressed well. G1 is tallest, ballet and pottery. G2 modern dance. G4 has been in Montasori, will attend public school next fall. B1 and G4 test HIGH in age appropriate IQ/ learning tests. I have not been able to see them during the past 10+ days; my doctorate is a double emphasis: personnel administration/ human relations supv and admin for special ed. Mom's dad retired from HS English Dept Chair. These little dears have got us bluffed! All 3 school age are extremly slack about doing homework. They can be 2 weeks behind and stay inside 2 recesses and make it all up, G3 has for at lest 1.5 years been easy to put to bed, as long as she has her toy of the month. Now she whines at bedtime and wants to be held for an hour before bed, is "scared" to be alone; G2 and G1 go to bed at the same time, talk a while, listen to the radio and when Mom growls, go to sleep. G1 has wet the bed. G2 is downright mean, hitting, biting, trying 2 year old behaviors. G2 and G3 are babbling around in baby talk. Mom is really lenient at home about noise level & running & eating at a table together - supper and weekend meals are fast food at the theatre. She puts emphases on doing your chores, apologies after a scrap, sharing, and public manners (except loudness). G1 has anxiety disorder and is under treatment with certified psycholist under direction of psychologist. (Obviously, I have a real, diagnosed spelling disability - forgive the misspellings.) The first thought we all had was [1]they had all been together into something really not good in the house Have not found anything, and B1 would rat. - they just repainted their rooms [B1/ Girls together]. [2]misunderstanding mom's job moving not disappearing - nah. they explained it to the dog for mom to tell. This deviant behavior began about May 9. [3]school ending is always a low point in their lives each year - never resulted in this behavior. We WILL appreciate any ideas we have not thought of. Actually, mom, dad, mom's dad, and I are more than embarrassed we are obviously not thinking on a larger scope of things - we are missing the cause. We will be more than grateful for some ideas of the areas we need to explore: stress, we will revisit mom's job, & find some explanation for her being at the hospital for one day - although since they will be in school & mom home before them. With our hopes for an outsider giving us a new view. - Mom has checked the girls in their baths = no indication of physical etc. abuse. See how far outreaching we are now!!