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Ask Dr. G. Your Own Question

Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1484
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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introducing biological fth to a child

Customer Question

My fiance and i have raised my 7yr old as our child but he is not his biological father. Recently his biological father wants to be involved and we have decided that he should get to know his biological father so eventually he knows who his biological father is and that who he knows as daddy will still be his daddy but is not his biological father. how do you introduce this situation to a 7yr old?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 6 years ago.
Has the father ever been in the child's life. What custody rights does he have? Why does he want to be in his life now?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
the biological father never knew about him til now. we werent sure and for unknown reasons never wanted to find out out but we recently found out he is the biological father so now trying to make the situation work where he gets to know his biological father. there are no custody rights nor is that an issue just looking for what techniques and type of conversations etc to use to approach the situation with my 7yr old.
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 6 years ago.
I would just sit down with him and tell him that the father he knows is not his real father and that his real father would like to meet him. Then gage his reaction and see if he is open to meeting him. If he is then great go ahead with the meeting. If he is not then don't rush anything but hear out his concerns and see what he needs in order to feel comfortable meeting his father. This should do the trick.
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
dont understand how you just directly tell a child this type of information and expect them to understand or just wait to see how they digest the information. was looking for something more approach specifics.
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 6 years ago.
How do you not tell them directly? How do you propose you tell the child?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
not sure that's why i was seeking the professional advice to get some ideas.had different thoughts of having them interact without my son know his relationship to him and then with time introduce who he is, just not sure and looking to see what approach would be less confusing and emotional as possible.

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