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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1760
Experience:  Parenting Workshops, Teacher, PHD Clinical Psychology, 30 yrs. Exp. 4 Children
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I became a first time Father at 45 and my son is now three

Resolved Question:

I became a first time Father at 45 and my son is now three years old. My wife is also from a different culture - The Phillipines.

A source of tension between us is determining what to buy our son. My wife wants to get our son a Playscape. (A big elaborate swingset). They cost 1000.00 which we can afford but I see this as a waste of money. I grew up in an era where we did not have such things. (THe 60's) we went to the beach and played with Tonka trucks... Which is what I want to do with my son. My wife was very poor growing up. We purchased my son a THomas the Trainset and table - really nice, but what does he play with? A 5.00 plastic baseballset from Walmart. The cultural difference is my wife's impression of the US is what she see's now. SUV's, FLatscreen TV, huge McMansion's with alot of bathrooms, but I try to explain it was not always like this. My wife is a very smart and very successful woman but I want to slow things up a bit and enjoy what we have. Enjoy the goodlife.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 6 years ago.
Hi, you sound like you are very savvy about what is necessary and nice to have versus what a person thinks is necessary. You can deal with this issue by compromise. A swing set is fun for a child but at 3 a plays cape is a bit much. Settle for something simpler, at three a large swing set could be a liability . Your wife is only trying to give your son the things she didn't have and it's very easy to get caught up in the process. So tell her you need to compromise and let her know that you are open to buying things but not always at top of the line or everything she thinks he might like, and the you prefer simpler toys. The train set he will grow into and play with, kids about 4/5 really love that. It's all about moderation and compromise.
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