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Jennifer, School Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 397
Experience:  Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
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My daughter is 5 years old and doesn't finish her school work

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My daughter is 5 years old and doesn't finish her school work from talking so much. She is spoiled, and doesn't listen to anybody anymore. How do we get her to listen to authority without spanking her?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Jennifer replied 6 years ago.
Hello and thanks for using!

I'd suggest you look into some Love & Logic parenting strategies. It's a parenting / teaching theory I recommend to families quite a bit (and use with my own daughter). It relies heavily on natural consequences and is very effective in resolving common childhood issues (such as homework completion, whining, talking back, etc.) The website ( has a ton of free resources for parents including articles and videos.

Additionally, I'd suggest you set up a meeting with her teacher. See if you can come up with a plan for what the consequences will be when she does her work (both in school and at home) as well as what the rewards will be when she does complete her work. Include your daughter in developing this plan (brainstorming consequences and rewards) so that she'll be more tied into it. Perhaps she stays in during recess to complete work. Or perhaps at home she'll have to "pay" for each incomplete assignment with a toy (something you'd store for a period of time -- long enough for her to miss it). She could then earn toys back by completing her work. These are just a few ideas. Talk with her about what she'd like to work toward earning. As you give rewards (make them small -- e.g., playing a game with a parent, choosing what to watch on TV for 1 hour, choosing the dinner menu for a night, etc.) talk with her about how good it feels to have accomplished something. By doing this, you'll be fostering the intrinsic motivation that hopefully will develop into enough of a reward in itself. Best of luck!
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