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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1492
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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A year ago, when my son was 18 and a senior in HS, we had to

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A year ago, when my son was 18 and a senior in HS, we had to ask him to leave our home. He was becoming violent at school, not doing his HW, being disrespectful to staff. At home he was worse, cursing at us, Trying to get us to hit him etc. These behaviors were not sudden, we had seen them increase with his age. He has been living on his own for a year now, keeping a job and being productive. He does not speak to us. I have learned that he is probably doing ok or he would have come home by now.
My concern is for my self and my husband. We are so hurt. We have made so many attempts to be part of his life and he will have nothing to do with it. He has sent several e mails telling me that he is no longer our son. Believe me asking him to leave killed us. It was our last resort after counseling, discipline, and negotiations.
Is there any advice you can give to hurting parents...
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. G. replied 7 years ago.
Both of you can try counseling to work through this. But as an outsider looking in you might have saved your son's life by doing this and this very well could be a blessing in disguise. You need to absolve yourself of your guilt knowing that you tried other interventions before resulting in kicking him out. In addition, you did it because he deserved it, not because you are cruel parents who don't love their son. You don't beg him for his forgiveness because it was the right thing to do. You just let him know you love him and when he is ready to talk then you will be there for him. And every now and then you email or call him and ask him how he is doing. As a psychologist, I am actually proud to see parents take measures as far as they need to go to better things. Job well done.
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