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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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My 5 year old daughter has started school this year and is

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My 5 year old daughter has started school this year and is being aggressive. In the playground or classroom she is kicking or hitting other girls either in her class or a year or two older. not every day but perhaps every week. We don't hit at home and I am reading her books about kind words and gentle hands and talk to her about what to do when she is angry or upset but it is still happening. I am worried she will end up being regarded as a naughty girl and have no friends. Please help.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 6 years ago.

Good Morning,


You did not mention if this only happens at the school setting or in other settings (park, neighborhood play ground etc)

It would be helpful to know if anything in particularly triggers this at school such as underlying anxiety, feelings of inferiority, feeling lonesome (social discomfort) or missing her home. Once you are able to pin point the trigger, then you would focus on working with that specific problem. The aggression is in response to something (whether she is able to verbalize it or not) You may want to inquire from the teachers if they have noticed a pattern of the behavior. At home, with your daughter, you may try to engage her in play and tell her you're doing pretend play like they play at school. See if she is aggressive with the dolls (and try to solicit from her what emotions she may be going trough at that time)

In addition to reading her books about not being aggressive, you may want to try other ones that focus on what is expected at school (dealing primarily with the child's fear/anxiety of the new setting)

Let her know that she can earn some rewards for no aggression at school days (these rewards must be immediate- the same day) due to her age. Some rewards may be stickers, extra play or TV time, special treat, etc (whatever she finds rewarding)


Some book suggestions-


A Volcano in My Tummy: Helping Children to Handle Anger by Eliane Whitehouse and Warwick Pudney (Paperback - July 1, 1998)


Going to School Sticker Book (First Experiences Sticker Books) by Anne Civardi and Kirsteen Rogers (Paperback - June 2008)


Curly and Grandpa: Life's Little Lessons (Volume 1) by Rossi Davis (Paperback - May 25, 2009)

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