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Dr. G.
Dr. G., Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1473
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist in the state of Minnesota
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My 16 year old daughter came out to me and told me she is a

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My 16 year old daughter came out to me and told me she is a lesbian about 6 months ago. This was no surprise to me since she has been struggling with her sexuality since 12 years old. I have been very supportive and Love her just the same. I told my husband she finally came out and she was positive she was a lesbian. We as parents have been accepting and treat her the same way we always have. Our daughter has had severe self esteem issues since 12. She has been seeing a therapist for almost 4 years now. We do everything we can to boost her self esteem. She is a major people pleaser. I found out 2 weeks ago that she has a crush on a boy at school. For the last few weeks she has been making sure she looks really nice everyday. Doing her hair and makup putting on her nicest clothes. Before the boy she did not even care if her hair was brushed. Everyone she knows Teachers, freinds, facebook, myspace etc. believe she is a lesbian because she has told everyone. Even all of our family members know via the computer. I told my daughter I let her Father know she came out to me. She was super mad at me for telling him she was gay. I was confused. She told me she wanted to tell him herself when she was ready but did not mention this the day she came out to me. I apologised to her for telling him. As soon as I knew for sure she had a boy crush I told her therapist hoping they could discuss this together. She had a session a week ago. I was worried about how confused she might be feeling since she was acting very mean and strange towards me. The crush has now lasted two weeks and she has told some freinds but has not told me. She also bought tickets to go to prom last Thursday with another straight boy. A close freind of hers and best freinds of her crush. Now she has feelings for boys? I feel like I need to talk to her. This is a new topic for us! The therapist will not give me any feedback. This is an important issue to discuss, Boys! We have not had a boy talk, only girls. She still thinks I do not know about the boy. My daughter hates to talk unless she wants something.Lol. What should I do?
Why won't the therapist help you out?
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
The Therapist does not tell me anything unless I call her and ask. She had also said she did not need to see my daughter anymore unless my daughter needed to talk. Then I called the Therapist a week after that conversation to make appointment for my daughter so she could see what was going on with boy crush. The therapist never asked me in the room or called me. I think my daughter might not have told her.
Well I might tell the therapist that you want all three of you in the room to discuss this new issue. If that is not possible then ask the therapist what you can do to help your daughter. If that is not possible then just sit down with your daughter and let her know your concerns and that you want to talk about dating and sex. Of course she is going to be uncomfortable but it needs to be done. Maybe you and her go to a restaurant for lunch and talk. If you have trouble starting the conversation then you can go to the library and find a video or book about sex ed both of you can read and talk about. Just because she doesn't want to talk about it does not mean you should shy away. Good luck.
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