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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1696
Experience:  Parenting Workshops, Teacher, PHD Clinical Psychology, 30 yrs. Exp. 4 Children
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Hello, my name is Sabrina. I am requesting some professional

Resolved Question:

Hello, my name isXXXXX am requesting some professional advise for my 6 yo son. I am a single mother and have been since my son was 11mo old. Recently my son has been inquiring about his father. I have not seen or from him since my son was 11 mo old. I really dont know how to answer my son questions about his father or how to go about doing it. I try to ensure that his father absence is not his fault. And when my son ask where he is all I can say is I dont know. His question about his father are becoming more frequent and I really do not know how to answer without hurting his feelings. I really would like to talk to a child psychologist about this but not sure how to go about doing so. I knew has he got older he would have questions and thought I could handle it but now, I'm not so sure. Please advise.
Thanks,
Sabrina
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.
Hi Sabrina, guess what ? you are doing the right thing by saying you don't know. If there is no chance this child will see his dad then you can tell him that and be telling the truth. Answer his questions as truthfully as you can without maligning his father. As he gets older he may have more questions so be prepared for that and he may want to contact him and you need to figure that out too. But for now, you are doing fine.
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Customer: replied 4 years ago.

I can easily find his father if I wanted too. I choose not to because he is not a good person and I dont feel he is good role model for my son. But I also feel like, if his dad really wanted anything to do with him, then he would try to find him or us. I have facebook, myspace, and I'm not unlisted. So, I'm not trying to hide from him. Having said this, do you think there could be a small chance that me not trying to find my son's father, could possibly back fire on me later. Such as, my son blaming me for not knowing his father? This is something I do not want to happen but really afraid it might.

Please advise.

thanks,

Sabrina

Expert:  Dr. Keane replied 4 years ago.
Hi. I think you should go on living your life the way you are, without looking for your son's father. If your son wants to know about him you tell him the truth, you don't know where he is. Don't bad mouth the guy but don't go out of your way to find him. When you son is older and if he expresses an interest in finding him then by all means let him. You have left yourself exposed so that if he wanted to find you he could. That's all you can do. Focus on raising your son the best you can. I am sure whatever decision he makes later on in life will be a good one and he will not blame you.
Please click accept and leave feedback. Thank you.
Dr. Keane, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1696
Experience: Parenting Workshops, Teacher, PHD Clinical Psychology, 30 yrs. Exp. 4 Children
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