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Dr. Keane
Dr. Keane, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 1760
Experience:  Parenting Workshops, Teacher, PHD Clinical Psychology, 30 yrs. Exp. 4 Children
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My husband is at his wits end with our eight year old son.

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My husband is at his wit's end with our eight year old son. Our son will not accept advice or help from him. If my husband suggests any kind of improvement that our son might make, for example how to pass a basketball, whittle a stick, improve his science project, he (son) just ignores his dad, shuts down, and removes himself from the situation. He does not want to give up on our son, but any attempt to correct or help our son just leaves my husband frustrated and frankly, hurt. What do you think the problem is, and how can we change this pattern that has begun?

The easiest way is to not present any advice or help in a critical manner. It may be your son is sensitive to being corrected. He may see your suggestions as criticism. I would suggest you read up on "how to", and I am sending you a website that has some good suggestions that can be applied in various situations. If he continues to rebuff your offers of help after you have explored alternative ways of expressing them I would suggest you let him see a counselor to explore why he reacts this way, family counseling would also help. Sometimes it is a simple adjustment that we didn't see or think of that makes the problem go away.
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