It sounds like he is testing his limits with you. With this age reward/consequence ought to work. Try to find out what he finds pleasurable (extra play time, TV watching, specific toys, food/treats) and when he is not listening take one of those away at a time. Let him know that he can earn it back as soon as you see that he's listening. In the same way, when you notices something positive that he had done, praise and reward that behavior with the things he likes. That way he can leer to see that he can either get a negative consequence or a positive one. Always remind him that it is his actions that lead to one or the other. Have your 22 and 24 follow with the same plan when they're watching him. All of you have to be on the same page and consistent with this. You may notice more resistance initially but with time his behavior can change.
Thank you for above, but after bringing up a 22 and 24 year old,i have tried that it is very text book, this child is very different as in, he loves wrestling more than anything, so there is only one thing i can take away, when i do he will go out of his way to show he does not care. He has a major problem taking responsability for his actions, it is always someone elses fault. i find that difficult to deal with more than anything, but thanks for your help. By the way, i even took him for councilling and he would not talk he said he does not need to talk to people about his problems at 9 years old.