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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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My 3 children and I were very close when they were home and

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My 3 children and I were very close when they were home and growing up. We had some major hurdles to overcome (divorce and alcoholism), but we had so much fun together. Seven years ago I remarried and moved to another state. Shortly after that my oldest son got divorced, then the oldest daughter got divorced. The youngest found a mate but hasn't married him and the second son is married but I don't believe is in a very happy relationship.
We seem to be growing farther and farther apart as they don't communicate with me very often and when I call them they don't call back. We see each other one time per year when I drive the 16 hours to their town. The oldest son has quit speaking to me 4 years ago over an incident with him and the girl of his choice who was not a well person.
Christmas is over and I did not hear from any of them over the holidays. Should I write them a letter and express my disappointment or just leave them alone?
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 6 years ago.

Good Evening,

 

Writing the letter will be a good way for you to take things of your chest. The other side of it is, that they may not respond in a way that you hope they would. They may not acknowledge your feelings or see a valid concern and that would only make you more disappointed. Never the less, it is a reasonable to write to them and point out how their behavior affects you (not placing blame) but still letting them know what you expect as a parent from them. Just keep realistic expectations that even if they do not respond in an agreeable way, you still had shared something that is important to you. You won't be able to change them and sometimes no matter what, people continue to act their usual way. Don't blame yourself for this either. They are adults and had decided how to behave.

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