How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Dr. Rossi Your Own Question

Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
19260254
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Dr. Rossi is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I just found out my ex wife is pregnant by her boyfriend. We

Customer Question

I just found out my ex wife is pregnant by her boyfriend of 4 months. We have 2 children together. Age 5 1/2 and 3. I'm a little wierded out by this and don't know how to react or how to eventually tell my two kids they're both going to be big brothers to a child that isn't mine. My children live with me probably 70% of the time , but see their mother almost every other day. We both don't know what to do. So how do I explain this to my children?
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 4 years ago.

Good Morning,

 

When partners separate in many cases one or both partners cab have children with their new partner.

 

Due to the age of your children, try to prepare them for this by using language they can understand. Perhaps you may want to do this not just once since children this young may forget what was explained to them earlier. When you have the opportunity to talk to them either while at the park, over ice cream, before bed time or play time, etc. start introducing them to the idea that grown ups can have babies with different people. Point out to them that now when mommy had met another person, that he can also be a daddy. Ask them how would they feel to have someone else to play with and to be a part of the family. Try to point out the positive such as being a big brother/sister, being helpful to mommy, having another play mate later on, etc. Have your ex do the same.

 

It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families (The Family Library) (Paperback)

~ Robie H. Harris Robie H. Harris (Author) Visit Amazon's Robie H. Harris Page Find all the books, read about the author, and more. See search results for this author Are you an author? Learn about Author Central (Author), Michael Emberley (Illustrator)

Customer: replied 4 years ago.

Thank you very much for your reply. One thing I wasn't exactly sure of was the part of "another person can be a daddy" in your answer. A daddy to them or just a father to a child in general? I'm guessing you meant as a father in general!? but I just want to clarify. I amtheir fater, nobody else. I don't even know of the chance of their(my exwife and her current bf)relationship working or not. She has chosen to have the baby, which I strongly support but she is not 100% sure on where her relationship with this man will be. We have been apart for over 2 years now and we agree to keep our relationships private from our children unless the relationship becomes "serious." I do feel however no matter what happens, they should have a sibling relationship with their new brother/sister, I just don't know how to tell them, especially my 5 1/2 yr old. Which btw, talks of wanting a baby sister. Lol.

 

Thanks again,

 

Bobby

Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 4 years ago.

Yes, father in general. They would only have one daddy you. You would let them know the other man is the daddy of the other baby and that their mom is the mom of the baby too. You could try using the analogy of planting a plant. Let them see how one seed can bear many fruits later on but it is the same original seed. The plant stem could be the mommy.

A sibling relationship would be inevitable if she choses to become pregnant. To tell the 5 year old perhaps start by gathering information on how they'd feel and what do they know about babies so far. Then you could point out that mommy can still have more babies. With children, it is important to reassure them that mommy won't love them any less.

Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
Dr. Rossi and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 4 years ago.
Thanks for the replies Dr. Rossi. I will try your tips and share them with my ex as well. If I had more money to give at the moment, I would. This is a great service you guys offer here. I had never heard of this website and just happen to stumble on it late last night while googling phrases.

The time you give, I'm sure in addition(I hope)to your regular practice, truely shows how much you care.

Happy Holidays and tbanks again!

Bobby
PS. Is there a way to donate additional funds specifically to you in lets say, a month or so down the road?
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 4 years ago.
Thank you kindly. Experts can receive bonuses or if in the future more help is needed, just ask for Rossi at the start of your question.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    19
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
 
 
 

Related Parenting Questions

Chat Now With A Parenting Counselor
Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi
107 Satisfied Customers
Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.