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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
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I just found out my ex wife is pregnant by her boyfriend. We

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I just found out my ex wife is pregnant by her boyfriend of 4 months. We have 2 children together. Age 5 1/2 and 3. I'm a little wierded out by this and don't know how to react or how to eventually tell my two kids they're both going to be big brothers to a child that isn't mine. My children live with me probably 70% of the time , but see their mother almost every other day. We both don't know what to do. So how do I explain this to my children?

Good Morning,


When partners separate in many cases one or both partners cab have children with their new partner.


Due to the age of your children, try to prepare them for this by using language they can understand. Perhaps you may want to do this not just once since children this young may forget what was explained to them earlier. When you have the opportunity to talk to them either while at the park, over ice cream, before bed time or play time, etc. start introducing them to the idea that grown ups can have babies with different people. Point out to them that now when mommy had met another person, that he can also be a daddy. Ask them how would they feel to have someone else to play with and to be a part of the family. Try to point out the positive such as being a big brother/sister, being helpful to mommy, having another play mate later on, etc. Have your ex do the same.


It's So Amazing!: A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families (The Family Library) (Paperback)

~ Robie H. Harris Robie H. Harris (Author) Visit Amazon's Robie H. Harris Page Find all the books, read about the author, and more. See search results for this author Are you an author? Learn about Author Central (Author), Michael Emberley (Illustrator)

Customer: replied 6 years ago.

Thank you very much for your reply. One thing I wasn't exactly sure of was the part of "another person can be a daddy" in your answer. A daddy to them or just a father to a child in general? I'm guessing you meant as a father in general!? but I just want to clarify. I amtheir fater, nobody else. I don't even know of the chance of their(my exwife and her current bf)relationship working or not. She has chosen to have the baby, which I strongly support but she is not 100% sure on where her relationship with this man will be. We have been apart for over 2 years now and we agree to keep our relationships private from our children unless the relationship becomes "serious." I do feel however no matter what happens, they should have a sibling relationship with their new brother/sister, I just don't know how to tell them, especially my 5 1/2 yr old. Which btw, talks of wanting a baby sister. Lol.


Thanks again,



Yes, father in general. They would only have one daddy you. You would let them know the other man is the daddy of the other baby and that their mom is the mom of the baby too. You could try using the analogy of planting a plant. Let them see how one seed can bear many fruits later on but it is the same original seed. The plant stem could be the mommy.

A sibling relationship would be inevitable if she choses to become pregnant. To tell the 5 year old perhaps start by gathering information on how they'd feel and what do they know about babies so far. Then you could point out that mommy can still have more babies. With children, it is important to reassure them that mommy won't love them any less.

Dr. Rossi, Licensed Psychotherapist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: Certified Hypnotherapist, Parenting Book Author, 13+ years of experience.
Dr. Rossi and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
Thanks for the replies Dr. Rossi. I will try your tips and share them with my ex as well. If I had more money to give at the moment, I would. This is a great service you guys offer here. I had never heard of this website and just happen to stumble on it late last night while googling phrases.

The time you give, I'm sure in addition(I hope)to your regular practice, truely shows how much you care.

Happy Holidays and tbanks again!

PS. Is there a way to donate additional funds specifically to you in lets say, a month or so down the road?
Thank you kindly. Experts can receive bonuses or if in the future more help is needed, just ask for Rossi at the start of your question.

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