It sounds like a 4 yol who is testing her limits with you. It may be helpful to immediately consequent the inappropriate behavior. Time out works well with this age. About 4-5 minutes for her age is appropriate. You can let her know that this is a consequence for the way she behaves and once. Make sure that you praise good behavior and let her know that you believe she can do well. Sometimes it is also a good idea to ignore negative behaviors. She is doing that for attention seeking. Try it and see what works and what does not with her. For good behavior you can always tell her that there will be some kind of a reward whether it is extra time playing, watching TV, etc.
You have to be consistent for this to work.