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danny541
danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Have 5 children !
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you are correct he was allowed to do these things in the past

Customer Question

you are correct he was allowed to do these things in the past and now we're trying to stop it because it's very dangerous for a start and we can't get nothing done in the house that he constantly wants to be lifed up to turn the lights on and off he goes into a state now when he's not allowed. we both work full time and when we get home we have to organise dinner etc and everything else for the next day that he gets a bit bored and i feel guilty about it but what can we do. he might get into such a state but then if he gets at the switch then all tears stop immediately. it's our fault for letting him do it at the start and then expecting him to just except no when he's probably confused as to why he's allowed sometimes, and sometimes is for a quiet life but he wants to be at the switches all the time. it's more waking up crying all the time at night for nothing and then when i walk with him hes pointing that he wants down the stairs and goes mental when i tell him he can't go its night
Submitted: 4 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  danny541 replied 4 years ago.
Its going to be very difficult to change him to different actions now, but unfortunately because of his age it is hard to understand,because you have allowed it in the past. Your correct in thinking he is confused!

From here on though you need to be firm with him, let him know,even if he doesn't understand at first that its a bad thing, and he must not do it! You can not at this point give in to him.Its going to be stress full for awhile, but if you stick to it,it will get through to him.

Give him other things to do, to get his attention away from the light switches,if he will not go along with what he needs to do, then its okay to sit him in a time out chair (5 minutes per year)until he realizes that you are not giving in, or in his room, behind a safety gate, or any way that you can be in control.

He will throw tantrums for awhile, until he realizes that you are not going to give in to him.

Do not ever give in to him, if its something that could get him hurt,reward him when he does something good.

Give him things to do,to get his attention off what he is wanting to do, and if he starts to misbehave for his own good, restrict him, either in a time out chair or behind a baby gate where he can not hurt himself and get into trouble in other ways.

Unfortunately it takes awhile to change his behavior so don't expect it to work overnight,but give it time and he will soon start to be the little boy you want him to be.

Rearing children is not an easy way thing to do, it takes a lot of work, and time, but if you are willing, it will work out!

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