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danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Have 5 children !
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My nephew is an adorable 3 year old who lives downstairs from

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My nephew is an adorable 3 year old who lives downstairs from me with his 22 year old mom. He only says 1 word at a time and often doesn't say that word again. He can be very distructive but also very loving. He tends to flip everything he comes across upside down. He gets a lot of time outs in a day. He gets a lot of attention so can you tell me why he is so distructive?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  danny541 replied 7 years ago.
Hello and welcome to Just Answer!

Has he always acted out this way,or is it a recent thing? Is his father around? Visitation? Does he act this way with everyone?

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
No his father is not in the picture. He really has always been this way as was his mother at this age. Then she was DX bi-polar and put on meds for years. But now she swears she is not bipolar. She has a present boyfriend who he seems to like very much. He is this way with everyone.
Expert:  danny541 replied 7 years ago.
Often at this age it can be very normal for children to act out depending on if they are allowed to get away with it and sometimes even if they are not allowed they will choose to take the hard road rather than do the right thing just to be contrary!

Its also possible that in some of his levels of learning he's very smart but also having trouble with talking, possibly a speech impediment,I believe it would be a good idea to check with his doctor to see if he too might be having learning problems.

At his age it can be very hard to tell if anything is wrong, or if he is just reacting in ways that he sees other people acting!

You say his mother said she has out grown her bi-polar? My understanding is either you have it or you don't.And if she does still have the bi-polar, its possible that he is acting the same way he sees he acting!

Bi-polar as I'm sure you already know,has many ups and downs in there life, jumping from very high moods to low. Some people self medicate,by drinking or smoking pot, I don't know if that is the case with her or not, but if he watches everything as you said he does, its possible that is the reason you see him act this way!

I would check with his doctor, see if at his age he can be tested to rule out anything that might be medical, and if its not proceed from there.

Always be firm, make sure the punishment fits the bad behavior, at three, 15 minutes in a corner is all that is needed! Yelling, is never a good idea, because children tend to get more defensive when they are yelled at! Sit,talk to him, find out why he is doing what he is doing, then let him know that you are disappointed because he is smarter than this!

You could also try starting a chart of good behavior for him, using gold stars, for every 5 gold stars he gets to have something special or do something special, it need not be anything major, just something you know he really likes.

Do it on a three times a day basis, or more if you prefer, a gold star in the morning, one in the afternoon, and one at evening! That way he may try harder to stay on his good behavior!

If you have more questions, lets discuss all your concerns!

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