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danny541
danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Have 5 children !
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is it bad manners for a child to put his hands in his pockets

Customer Question

is it bad manners for a child to put his hands in his pockets when being spoken to by an adult?
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  danny541 replied 7 years ago.
Hello and welcome to Just Answer!

How old is the child? Boy?

What was the occasion?
Customer: replied 7 years ago.

My son is 7 yrs old. He tells me that his fathers girlfriend just started yelling at him to get his hands out of his pockets and that it was bad manners. I asked if he was in any kind of trouble and he said that he was just walking into the living room from his bed room.

 

Does it matter? I mean I would have that that would be better than to stand around fidgeting with your hands.

Expert:  danny541 replied 7 years ago.
At 7 years old, there are worse things he could have done with his hands.

She should not be yelling at him,period, its alright to correct his manners in a polite way or to even to have discussed it with his dad, and given her concerns for it, but never should an adult yell at a child this age, over something so little as manners.

If he had been at a party and was keeping his hands in his pockets that would be different, even many adult males do this, when they are feeling that they are in an uncomfortable situation,it was not bad manners, just having his hands in his pockets!

I suggest if your ex-husband and you have a good relationship then you talk to him, let him know what happened, and let him know that you would prefer his girlfriend to not yell at your son, or if you feel it will have too many complications to say anything, then tell your son that although he did nothing wrong, it was not a bad thing he did, just go with the flow and try not to do it anymore!

If you would like to discuss this further, please ask!

If not,please click the green accept button, so the site pays me for my help!

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Customer: replied 7 years ago.
I was looking for more of a professional opinion / answer than a personal one, but htanks anyway.
Expert:  danny541 replied 7 years ago.
I am a professional in this area, what more do you feel that you need? I will try to help!
Expert:  danny541 replied 7 years ago.
After doing some more research, it is bad manners to be standing and talking to an adult with your hands in your pocket!That is the overall concept in many countries around the world,from Poland to Japan,Holland, England, are just a few of the sites I check as well as many on manners.

There are many that now consider this to be an outdated personal decision, and something you and the father should decide. At any rate his girlfriend should not have yelled at him, speaking to him would have been the polite way to go about it, or to let his father talk to him about it!

That is both of your decisions on how it should be handle!

My first answer, was not spoken from a personal basis,but from the child's point of view. When you are at a party, or addressing an adult it is considered bad manners.

But since your son was walking from his bedroom into the living room,he wasn't doing anything wrong as far as manners are concerned, if she started to speak to him about it, then he should have removed his hands and listened.

If you would like to discuss this further, please ask!

If not,please click the green accept button, so the site pays me for my help!

And,"POSITIVE FEEDBACK" only takes a moment and really helps me in my work!