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danny541
danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Have 5 children !
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I was asked by my 15 yr old daughter and husband to leave the

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I was asked by my 15 yr old daughter and husband to leave the house a month ago. There were issues on parenting our 2 teenagers, and my husband's strategy seemed to be more to allow them to do what they want--mine was to attempt to enforce ground rules (i.e., clean up after yourself). The 15 yr old has been cutting herself. She says it gives her a sense of control over her pain. As soon as I found out, I sought help immediately. The trick is, both my husband & I have fallen into extremely hard times financially. We were not a conventional family anyway, as he & I didn't share bedrooms or finances, so the parental disparity was probably not a surprise. But I later found out he had known of her hurting herself many months earlier, and trusted she would simply stop. No one told me, as they had agreed not to. Although they had all blamed me for her emotional problems, there is nothing positive happening for her since I left. Just found our she's still cutting, only now on her leg.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  danny541 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and welcome to Just Answer!

Check with the mental health agencies in your area, this is a very serious problem with teens now days, and even some adults. You could ask at your local emergency room for children and see if they can recommend a place that will go either based on your income, or is free!

But please for your daughter's sake, please seek help for her know, before its too late!

If you wish to talk of this further, please do!

Please remember to click the green accept button, so the site pays me for my help!

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I have checked with MHMR sources. The better one won't take her with outstanding community service owed. Since she believes she hates me, only her father can take her & make arrangements. I have told (father) to enlist me in ANY way to help. But he's been putting off getting that done.

 

I don't know how to parent from a different residence. I'm afraid anything I insist on will create more animosity. My husband tunes me out as soon as I suggest anything. And I'm afraid my daughter will go further than the surface wounds if I try to force her into anything.

Expert:  danny541 replied 5 years ago.
Then you must force the issue!

Call Children's Services, or what ever agency they have in your area, to force the father and your daughter to get help! I can not express how important this is, your daughter may end op killing herself if this continues!

She will hate you at first, but someday she will come back and thank you for what you did! She needs help, it can not be solved on its own! There is a 30 percent chance it will only get worse if she doesn't receive help quickly!

If you wish to talk of this further, please do!

Please remember to click the green accept button, so the site pays me for my help!

Positive feedback is a great way to say, "THANK YOU." even if its just to say thanks!

danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 909
Experience: Have 5 children !
danny541 and 2 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.

Please find a different person to help me. I appreciate your ideas, but I think you are missing info to give me an answer I can use. I am fully aware of the gravity of the situation, or I wouldn't be desperate enough to come to this resource I know nothing about. Child protective services sounds like a first rate way to ostracize each and every family member I have in an irreparable way. I can see the troubled daughter retaliating by doing something worse to herself as well. I have tried alternate venues. She owes community service, that I cannot force her to do since I am the unwanted parent. Her dad is waiting until after my other daughter finishes swim lessons next week to begin taking her to do her community service. I don't know what to tell you, but you write 3 sentences that feel like yelling things at me I already know, twice.

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