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danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Have 5 children !
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For 7 months now i have been living with my girlfriend who

Resolved Question:

For 7 months now i have been living with my girlfriend and her 4 year old boy who has never known his father. lately we are all of a sudden having difficulty getting him to sleep in his own bed. he has always come into our room in the morning but recently he refuses to go to sleep in his own room at all. I should mention that he still tries to attempt to breast feed whenever he gets into the bed with his mom. this is causing alot of stress to all 3 of us, lack of sleep, bed is too small for 3, etc.. We temporarily had this solved by telling him he wasnt allowed to come in until it was light out but now its getting light way earlier in the morning. In hindsight, that wasnt the best fix but it sure worked at the time. Now the problem has expanded to where he wont go to sleep at night unless he is in bed with mummy. HELP!!!!!!
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  danny541 replied 8 years ago.
Hello and welcome to Just Answer!

What all have you tried besides what you have stated!

Is mom still allowing him to breast feed?
Customer: replied 8 years ago.

Hi I am Mom,


I put the brakes on breast feeding some time ago but he will not let go of the idea, he will be 5 Nov 23rd this is causing me sleeplessness. He was not pursuing the boobie for quite some time but recently the last 2 nights has been impossible screaming to be just beside me in bed (not asking to breast feed) just wanted Mommy. I had addressed some dietary concerns around sugar in the winter and two days ago coincidentally he ate almost a whole bag oy Easter Hershey Kisses which were tucked away for an easter egg hunt. I am concerned with the fact that as an only child he gets caught for every little thing and consequenced for every little thing. Dying on a small mountain is creating a larger one. As a child I was responsible for 1/5 the consequence and my mother would pick her battles based on seriuosness, I think the two different styles and need for control are confusing this child. Can you advise on a parenting book for the blended family or new parent ( does not wish for my son to call him Daddy, when my son asks he is adement to make sure my son understands he is not his Daddy) I am attemting to tighten up my approach but I do need some advice for sure.

Expert:  danny541 replied 8 years ago.
That clarifies the situation somewhat better for me.

Whenever you are trying to put a new ( step-parent) into the picture they have their own ideas on how a child should be treated, it is better if you continue with the way you have been doing, and not make a lot of changes because, if its not a change your son likes he will blame the new person in the picture, in your case his step-dad.

He isn't too little to understand that your new mate is not dad, but he need's to understand that he is also someone that loves him, and cares about him so this is why he is helping with the discipline, but you must also be sure that he is being fair about it and that your son is feeling the love, not only from you, but from (dad).

It sounds to me like your son is feeling insecure in this new relationship, which is why he wants mommy all the time, and he probably ate the candy to get attention, or being bad to get your attention!

I would suggest, that you and your mate show him a lot of love, read to him at bedtime, make meals a special time for him, lots of attention not just from you, but from your mate also.

Let him know at bedtime that its time to go to sleep and he is to stay in his room, and not get up, unless he is really sick, going to the bathroom, or something is really wrong!

That you both love him very much, but big boys sleep in their own beds at night, so all of you can get enough rest. And if he is very good, you might even offer to do something special with him every couple of weeks.

But it must be by both of you so he understands you stand together on this, a united front!

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