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Walter
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I have sole custody of my two children. My ex-husband has

Resolved Question:

I have sole custody of my two children. My ex-husband has not paid up any child support and I never pursued. My children never heard from him again. I now remarried and my two children have a loving and a wonderful stepfather (they consider him their father and vice versa). Now, lately, my ex-husband's relatives (sister and aunt) have been getting in touch with my children through their MySpace and Friendster accounts, and my children have blocked them and do not want anything to do with them. My husband and I have sat down with them and asked them that if there will ever come a time that they would want to meet their biological father, that they should feel free to tell us and we would arrange for a meeting. They have refused so far. Their mentality is that he was never there for them and that being called a father is not a right, but a privilege and they said he does not deserve to be called one. Should I contact my ex's relatives and tell them to stop? Please advise.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Walter replied 5 years ago.

Hello,

 

How old are the children?

 

Did they both express they want no contact with the sister and aunt as well as the father?

 

Walter

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Hello Walter -
To answer your first question, they are 15 and 14. As I mentioned, my husband and I sat down with them and told them about their biological father, and that if they EVER will have the desire to meet him, we would arrange. So far, both of them have declined. It's not as if I am stopping them from meeting him since I do not want them to blame me someday and have some psychological issues. My question is, should I contact the aunts and tell them to stop? My kids told me that they blocked them from their social network sites. Should I contact the aunt and tell her that when my kids are ready, that I will contact them? My husband and I do not want to force the issue either. They know they can always come to us when they are ready. Please help.
Expert:  Walter replied 5 years ago.

Hello,

 

I am glad to hear that you are doing the right thing even though he abandoned you and your children. It sounds like your children are confident in their choices and at their age they should have have those choices upheld (Provided there are no court orders that give the aunt or sister any rights)

 

I would get in contact with the aunt and the sister and explain the situation to them. Let them know that per your children's request they are not ready yet and when they are you will be more then happy to put them in the right direction. Ask them for updated information on how to contact them, and request that they update it as it changes in the future so they know you are serious about forwarding it to the children once they are ready.

 

Hopefully the aunt and sister will respect the children's wishes.

 

Walter

Walter, Consultant
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience: Mentoring Parents on Understanding and Accepting the Challenges of Parenthood.
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