How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Director of Child Psychiatric Unit Yo...

Director of Child Psychiatric Unit
Director of Child Psychiatric Unit, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience:  PhD in Psychology, Director of Child Psychiatric Services, Mother and over 20 years as a counselor
16724211
Type Your Parenting Question Here...
Director of Child Psychiatric Unit is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I have identical twins. One of my daughters was in a video.

Resolved Question:

I have identical twins. One of my daughters was in a video. 8th grade at her school. The students made commericals. One of the ads was for freak repellant. My daughter dresses in different. The child that made the video used the repellant on a child dressed like my daughter. The entire class looked at my daughter and laughed when they saw the ad. The teacher had not seen or supervised the making of the video nor screened the video before showing it to teachers, principals and students. My child was very upset and felt she was the subject.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Director of Child Psychiatric Unit replied 5 years ago.
HiCustomer

As a therapist that works with children, and a mother myself, I certainly sympathize with your plight. She must feel chastised and alienated -- two of the worst things a child her age can experience.

You have a lot of options as to how to deal with the teacher not supervising the children and therefore allowing such a thing to happen, but your daughter's experience is of greater concern.

I'd bring up the issue when you can, and make it a point to discuss with her the intolerance her classmate displays. Intolerance is borne from a better-than-thou attitude. There's no place for equality in intolerance.

Make sure your daughter understands that this video says much more about this girl than her.

I'd make this a teachable moment about how that kind of better-than-thou attitude alienates people-- and how sad that is for the girl who made the video. That girl clearly needs to live the Middle School Queen Bee life-- and as we all know, those queen bees live on unsteady ground -- having to maintain their status -- which in 8th grade LOOKS solid -- but really is a house of cards.

I imagine these themes will resonate with your daughter-- as she already is much more brave than the others' by not dressing like one of the pack.

Your daughter's ability to not follow the crowd is an admirable trait-- teach her to cherish that about herself.

You might also want to supply her with some of the newer tween-teen books about the girls who aren't the most popular-- but are heroines in their own right. Talk to her often about how her way of living is the perfect way for her-- no matter what others think -- and for you -- KNOW that this is a normal developmental process that she is going through.

Tween-teens are desperate to not stand out-- they want to follow the crowd, be in the crowd and not be different. It's a normal part of healthy development and each child has to experience it to move through it. If they don't get through it -- they get stuck. And we all know adults who are stuck in middle-school mentality! We want your daughter to begin to look inward for her self-esteem and self-worth, but she can't do that until she experiences humiliation, embarrassment -- and all those MS horrors.

The good news is that she will surive this and come out better on the other end. I know that, because she has an involved Mom who is past this stage of life...

So, hang in there. It's horrible to watch, but it will soon end. 9th grade brings a whole other set of rules!

Hang on to my name, and feel free to email back anytime :-)

Yours in mothering daughters!

XXXXX XXXXX
Director of Child Psychiatric Unit, Psychologist
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 746
Experience: PhD in Psychology, Director of Child Psychiatric Services, Mother and over 20 years as a counselor
Director of Child Psychiatric Unit and 2 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Director of Child Psychiatric Unit replied 5 years ago.
Just a short note to let you know I am always available for follow up. How is everything going? Any better?

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Family Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    108
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/jhollo77/2010-2-6_651_Avatar.jpg Jennifer's Avatar

    Jennifer

    School Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Collaborative parent consultation on everything from modifying behavior to child development.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/VO/vodkas25/2012-1-29_16528_P1010831.64x64.JPG professional_Alison's Avatar

    professional_Alison

    Child Care

    Satisfied Customers:

    77
    Degree in early years,16 years experience in childcare
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    40
    Licensed as psychologist and marriage and family therapist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/KaterB1270/2012-5-2_17226_016.64x64.jpg KaterB1270's Avatar

    KaterB1270

    Teacher

    Satisfied Customers:

    18
    BS Family Consumer Sciences Ed. and Masters of Art in Teaching
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KA/Kansastherapist/2012-6-13_171911_4upon20120220at14.64x64.jpg KansasTherapist's Avatar

    KansasTherapist

    LSCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    17
    17 years experience with depression, abuse, and borderline.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg NormanM's Avatar

    NormanM

    Author, lecturer and psychotherapist.

    Satisfied Customers:

    16
    ADHP(NC), DHP, ECP, UKCP Registered