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danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Have 5 children !
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How do I tell a two & a half year old child that her mother

Resolved Question:

How do I tell a two & a half year old child that her mother has died and she will not see her again without frightning her.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  danny541 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and welcome to Just Answer!

First of all, let me say I'm sorry for your loss.

Was the mother sick for awhile, or was it sudden?

What have you told the child so far?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Her mum died in her sleep early hours of saturday morning, she was only 26. her mum should have been working Sat morning and the alarm was set for 7am. My son was wakened by the constant ringing of the alarm and when he turned round she was lying dead beside him. He pulled her from the bed and administered cpr but it was too late, unfortunately my grandaughter witnessed all this and was asking why mummy wasn't waking up and why he was pushing her tummy. We took her too her aunts where she played happily with her children all day, I think she thought her mum was at work, she didn't ask for her until bedtime when she wanted to go home. We havn't told her anything as yet we are trying to keep things as normal for her as possible, she has gone to nursery this morning, we are not sure how much or how to tell her.
Expert:  danny541 replied 5 years ago.
The best thing to do is keep it as simple as possible, but truthful.

If the family believes in God, then it would be a good thing to let her know that mummy had to go away, because she became sick that night and the angels came to bring her to a beautiful place called Heaven, where someday, she will see her again.

Its always a really hard thing to explain to a child this age, you don't want her to be scared, but you don't want her to think, mum is just away for awhile and will be back!

If you don't have the belief in God, then its best just to explain, that mummy had to go away because she became sick,but that mummy loved her very much. And let her know that you and daddy love her very much and will be here to take care of her!

I'm very sorry, for you all,and you may have to explain it to her more than once, depending on how she reacts. Its important that you keep her routine as normal as possible, don't make any big changes that will have her fretful or worried that daddy or you will go away also.She will need a lot of love in the months to come.

I will also add, that's its good not make her feel she is different, by acting differently around her, just trying to keep things as normal as possible is a good way to go!
danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 909
Experience: Have 5 children !
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