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danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 909
Experience:  Have 5 children !
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what can be done with a child that has a problem with parental

Customer Question

what can be done with a child that has a problem with parental authority? How do you resolve the problem?
Submitted: 8 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  danny541 replied 8 years ago.
Hello and welcome to Just Answer!

Can you tell me how old the child is? Boy or girl?

Are you the mother or father? Step-parent?

What kind of problems are you dealing with?

Any problems that the child is going through? A divorce, a parent dying, how about at school good grades, bad?

Let me know the answers and I will get back with you on this.
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
the child is 13 and is a girl. mother and stepfather. problems are backtalking, disobeying, think she is the adult and doesnt have to listen, bossy to others especially her sisters, rude attitude, jealousy,always has to have the last word, starts arguments, name calling, wont do chores, always has to have her way.mother an father was divorced 12 years ago.makes good grades, both grandparents died in 2 years, doesnt have many friends
Expert:  danny541 replied 8 years ago.
Sounds like she is totally miserable and is taking it out on everyone around her.It also sounds like she is dealing with anger issues that she isn't able to process and is being mouthy because of it.

You have a few options to work through this, if there is an adult that she trusts then you all need to go in and talk to her and find ways to deal with the anger.

Depending on mom or you , if you have a sort of talking relationship, then it would be good to just ask her why she is doing this behavior, if not then I suggest a counselor even a school counselor someone that will not take sides, but will try to determine the entire situation!

Something is making her very hurt and angry, it could be many reasons, you say she has no friends, that may be part of it. But if it continues until she gets older it will become much worse, maybe even turn to drugs or alcohol, so you want to figure it out now, before it goes any further.

I'm hear if you would like to discuss it further. If not , please remember to click the green accept button so I get paid for my advice and positive feedback is a big help for my ratings!
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
we are already trying all of this and it is not working. her behavior just gets worse. we have her in an anger management class and we all go to family counseling.she is threatining to kill her sister. what other suggestions do you have then?
Expert:  danny541 replied 8 years ago.
Sorry you did not state what you had already tried.

I'm concerned that she is saying she will kill her sister though. If you feel she is serious then she needs to be in more than anger management. Its not the same as counseling, its just teaching her ways to control her anger and is apparently not working.

If you feel this is possibly a real threat then you need to take immediate action and tell authorities what is going on, and while you are all in the same home then you need to make sure the home is secure so that she doesn't accomplish what she is wanting to do.

You say that you are all in family counseling, that's a good start, what does your counselor say about this threat to kill her sister?

Unless she is prone to making idle threats you need to take it seriously, its a cry for help as any good counselor will tell you and they need to address it immediately!

In fact if its possible contact the counselor today, and see what they think.

My thoughts is she needs to be in a program that will figure out why she is so angry, it could be a number of reasons. But its obvious that she needs to be in a better counseling program, before something bad happens.

danny541 and other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 years ago.
who offers this type of program when we dont have alot of money ?
Expert:  danny541 replied 8 years ago.
There are programs that should be listed in mental health that are based on your income and some that if you fall into a certain price amount, its possibly free!

You said shes in anger management. Make them aware of how serious the problem has become that you feel she is becoming a danger to the family and they should be able to connect you to the right people.

Also some counseling agencies should be able to give you some information on free counseling, the same explain to them how serious it has become and they should be able to connect you with the correct people.

I wish you well, it can be a uphill battle for a bit. But you can get through this, you just need to get to the root of her anger!