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danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Have 5 children !
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I have a daughter that is 15 and I divorced her father 9 years

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I have a daughter that is 15 and I divorced her father 9 years ago. I met and married a wonderful man. We now have a 5 year old. My 15 year old seems to resent her step-father and her little sister. She is so nasty to her little sister. I think she resents them because my time is divided and not completly devoted to her. I don't know what to do anymore with her.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  danny541 replied 5 years ago.
Hello and welcome to Just Answer!

Did your daughter always feel this way? When did it start?

Do you spend any one on one time with her?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
It started once her little sister was about 1 1/2years old. I try to spend as much time with her as possible. After the little one goes to bed, most often we will cook dinner together, she gets home from school first and we get about 1/2 an hour. Sometimes when I get my nails done, she comes with me.
Expert:  danny541 replied 5 years ago.
Its just not enough time. As a child her age at 15, she needs more! There are so many changes that are going on in her life, school is much harder than it was at your age or mine.

She is going through all types of peer pressure, the Homework at school is much tougher if you want to go beyond high school, and these days if you don't you are going no where but the local fast food places!

Her friends if she has them could be pushing smoking, drinking, drugs. And if she hasn't tried them yet she may.

My suggestion is that you have a daughter and me time out at least once a week, whether both of you get your nails done, or just shopping for something for her, make it all about her. Stop to get a lunch or McDonald's, where isn't important, as long as you make it about her.

Go for a movie and an ice cream. But its important that it be about just her. Make a point of asking her how her day is, how was school? Discuss things that are important to her, I would occasionally have time out with the whole family, maybe every two weeks, but be sure its something that includes her, she is feeling like a young woman now, and she feels that no one understands how she is feeling, the new child has taken her place and no one cares how she is doing.

Try these things and be sure to keep it up as she grows older and hopefully it will make her realize that you and her step-dad love her, and the new child and you have room enough to love them both!

If not, you could be facing counseling within a short time and the problems that seem so bad now, could get worse.

Good luck to you, its a hard road raising teenagers, I had 4 girls, and its never easy, but have faith in your self, show her the love, and it will work out!


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danny541, Parenting Answer Team
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 909
Experience: Have 5 children !
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