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Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question

Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Family Counselor
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 109
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I also have a 17 year old (daughter)who is out of control,

Customer Question

I also have a 17 year old (daughter)who is out of control, my husband have taken her to counselor after counselor, had her in the hospital for a week, she is very defiant, distroying property, smoking pot and who knows what else, she has bitten her father, she has tried to steal the cars every other day, she quit school, had her in beauty school with 2wks left and she quit with 2 months left,home school her high school and she has 1 year left. My next step is let her steal the car and report her stealing so that maybe the police would do something. We have been thru the courts, have had the police come and they can't do anything to her, the police told us that if she killed one of us then they could arrest her, or we could have her mentally evaluated, done that been there and all it did was cost of thousands of dollars. If she actually steals the car they can arrest her. That is where I am. she is totally ruining our family life.5 years and I am tired. I want her out of my house.
Submitted: 7 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Ms Chase replied 7 years ago.
Hello Js,

You said this has been going on for 5 yrs? How was she before that?

Did anything happen to jump start this? divorce, death, move, birth?

You said she's been to counseling? was she diagnosed?

Customer: replied 7 years ago.
No my husband and I have been married for 25 yrs. she had a boyfriend to die, however things were bad then as well. In the 6 th grade she was not happy and got jumped by some girls at school so we put her and brother in a Christian school she did not like it there either and in the eighth grade she failed. so we put her back in public school and she did the the grade over again.(once you fail at the Christian school they don't take you back.) she was always a sweet and loving child before she started hanging out with other troubled kids, she got into the Gothic thing and was taking those cold pills. In the 9th grade she was skipping and failing and she begged to be home schooled. Her best friend at the time was being home schooled, so I went with it and she does have a B average. She then wanted to go to beauty school and learn how to cut hair, I didn't think she was ready, but after her begging I let her go, I thought some structure would be good. I work full time. she was almost finished when last week she quit. I am now out 1900.00 and she wants to go over to another school, fine... however after trying to steal our cars and taking a golf club and threating to hit our oldest daughters truck, thank god she didn't my oldest left to get away from her. She has been in the hospital for cutting, and defiant behaviors, she sees counselors and was on meds for bi-polar but refuses to take the meds anymore. She was a bit better but not much, still so much drama. I can't afford to send her away again, we are in financial difficulty right now and this would be too much, we have a 3000.00 deducble. She is very angry because I have not paid for her drivers class and she wants her drivers permit. She is not responsible, however I have not had the extra funds d/t paying her tuition. We have called the police many times and they can/t or won't do anything, we been to the courts for help. there answer is to have her emancipated. Everyday you can count on something happening, I get called at work constantly and I am surprised I still have a job. She feels like she is owed everything and does not behave in the appropriate ways and is compulsive and does not think or have remorse for her behavior.

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