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Walter
Walter, Consultant
Category: Parenting
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Experience:  Mentoring Parents on Understanding and Accepting the Challenges of Parenthood.
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Should our sons be allowed to heely in the house

Resolved Question:

My husband and I are having a disagreement. He thinks our four boys (ages 5 through 11) should be allowed to "Heely" in the house. These are the shoes that skate. He claims that it is harmless. While this may be true, I claim that wheels in the house, harmless or not, show a certain disrespect to our home. It brings chaos and just a general feeling of disregard for our things. Can you help settle this? I need better words to explain this to him, or I need to be set straight if I am being too strict.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Walter replied 5 years ago.

Hello,

Well lets see if we can get to the root of the issue before we figure out who is right and who is wrong Laughing

Do the kids have a different place they can heely in?

Are they doing this when guests are in the home or when you are busy trying to do things?

Are they cleaning up any messes they make with the heelys? (Skid marks, knocked over things etc?

Walter

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
1) We have an flat giant driveway right out the back door.
2) We are always busy trying to do things. And no they haven't heely'd when guests are here.
3) They don't clean up after themselves very well at all---but that's our fault. We need to get on them more.

One last comment, don't you think skid marks in the house is reason enough NOT to heely? I'm obviously biased here since I don't want them to do this. Don't forget about the "respect" our home concept as you think about your answer...

Thanks! :)
Expert:  Walter replied 5 years ago.

Hello,

I understand the respect part......I am a father of four young boys who has had this issue with heelys as well. The biggest issue is not only the respect you want your children to learn it is also a safety issue. It is highly recommended that a child not skate in the home for a few different reasons.

The most important is safety. Your kids may be the best skaters in the world, but children will be children and they can get hurt. A turn made to sharp could throw them into the TV, wall, or a sharp area of the furniture which could cause some serious injury's to your kids. If they are allowed to free roam with the skates on should they fly into the kitchen they could be looking at burns, cuts or injury's from the appliances. Not to mention that they could run into each other or you and dad. Safety should always be the top concern in the home.

The respect issue is also important. You want to raise your kids to be respectful of the home as well as the things in it. There is a time and place for everything.....but running or skating rampart though ones home is never the time or the place. Would you want them to do this in someone else home? I would say the answer is no....respect starts at home. If you do not teach them to respect their own home they will never respect anyone else's. There is also the issue that you and dad have things going on....a child skating though the house makes it harder to take care of your own things without having to worry about watching out for a child flying by on skates.

Now the skid marks is a disater......and reason enough that this should not take place. The reality is they are damaging the home and not being required to clean it up. This as well teaches no respect. Someone has to clean it up.....maybe that is you or dad. Or maybe you have to hire someone to come clean it up. Either way this is time lost as well as money lost due to them not respecting the home and your rules.

Since there is a area for them to skate in I see no reason why they should be in the home skating. I will admit that sometimes as parents we are too strict....but in the end it is our jobs as parents to see that our children grow up well rounded and respectful. If we fail to do so over wanting the child to have every right under the sun then we as parents have failed them. Teaching respect and understanding is the most important job we do as parents.

As for the number (3) They don't clean up after themselves very well at all---but that's our fault. We need to get on them more. Chores and cleaning up after ones self is the easiest way to teach your children respect and responsibility. Sometimes it is good for the children to be a active part of the household....a simple everyone pulls their weight theory. By having them clean up after themselves or do chores they are a part of keeping the family in running order. Instead of just being the kids who get to have fun. A good balanced mixture of responsibilty and respect is what helps a child grow into a product adult.

Walter

Walter, Consultant
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience: Mentoring Parents on Understanding and Accepting the Challenges of Parenthood.
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