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Walter
Walter, Consultant
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience:  Mentoring Parents on Understanding and Accepting the Challenges of Parenthood.
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My son is 7 years old and a very smart kid. Ive

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My son is 7 years old and a very smart kid. I''ve noticed that he is always angry . What can is be.
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Parenting
Expert:  Walter replied 6 years ago.

Hello and Welcome to Just Answer,

If you could answer some questions maybe we can come up with a good plan to cope with his feelings and recent behaviors!

When you say he is angry, how so? (Is he acting out, argumentative, fighting)

Who is he doing the above with?

Any triggers that set him off?

Are there any behavior or developmental disorders present such as ADHD?

Any new changes or things going on in the home?

Is both mom and dad active in his life?

Walter

Customer: replied 6 years ago.
acting out at baseball not listening always has the write answer of I know. Then kicks things and throws too.

to his parents the coaches

that he was tagged out missed the ball the kids are not trying hard enough to him

No disorders Yet

has 3 younger brothers

parents are together and will do anything for kids
Expert:  Walter replied 6 years ago.

Hello,

It sounds like he is acting out more during times when he is bored or he feels he is right. This is very common at this age, once a child reaches the age of 7 or 8 (Boys more so then girls) they tend to start acting more aggressive. They want to show they are men, and therefor know everything.

The main key is dealing with this now.......before he gets into a routine of acting out when he wants to. Sometimes the hardest thing a parent can do is punish your child.....we want to nurture them, teach them and most of all give them the things we did not have or the things we missed out on. So punishment tends to prevent us from following though with those parental desires. The issue is children need discipline far more in todays society then ever before. When I say discipline, I do not mean corporal punishments such as spankings or stiff across the board punishments. I mean that parents must show their children that every action has a reaction......consequences is something that most children know little about. We are parents tend to make excuses for our kids behavior or brush it off. Thus the child has no consequences.

Please understand, I am not blaming you nor am I placing this back on you.......all us parents do it. It is a natural reaction to protect our children. By allowing him to learn that his actions have consequences he will learn when it is appropriate to be aggressive and when it is not.

Since it appears that baseball is a major issue in this routine of his, you may have to use that as part of the consequences. He is old enough for a sit down conversation. Before his next practice or game, sit down with him and talk to him about his recent behavior. Let him know that this behavior is not acceptable and that should he feel the need to refuse to listen, or act out he will be removed from the game or practice completely. I would also suggest talking to his coach. Let his coach know the issues, and let him know what you will be doing about it. Explain that you need his support in the matter and that you will be removing him from the game or practice at the first sign of trouble.

I know this sounds extreame.......but often this type of plan stops the behavior dead in its tracks. The last thing you want is a 15 year old who shows these signs. By taking a firm stance he will learn that there are consequences to his actions and therefor he will be required to follow the rules when participating.

If the behavior is at home as well, this can be done at home to. If you are watching TV and he is being disruptive, he needs to go to the table and sit. How long is up to you....each parent knows what is the best time. While the one minute per year theory works for most children you know your own child far better then I.

When raising our children, we must remember that we are in control and keep that control.......children are very smart and will quickly come to the understanding that there are things they can push. You must decide how far you will let them push then give a gentle push back to remind them that while they are loved they must respect you and follow your rules.

Loving your children is not just about doing for them........sometimes the best parent is the one who refuses to be a friend first.

Walter

Walter, Consultant
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience: Mentoring Parents on Understanding and Accepting the Challenges of Parenthood.
Walter and 2 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 years ago.
We are using the consequences and making to right choices at home and in school.There are days when he is fine and then there are days that he out of control and refuses to listens to us. Then he has a tantrum for a couple of minutes. Calms down and then he'll say he's sorry. I then ask for what is he sorry for so I know he knows that was the wrong form of action. I don't want my son to get labled ( out of control child). I just hope that this doesn't hurt him social with make friends. Is there anything that he can be tested for.
Expert:  Walter replied 6 years ago.

Hello,

You can have him tested for disorders such as ADHD, or conduct disorders......though based on what you are telling me this does not sound like a case. If you would like him tested I would recommend first doing some reading on these disorders then speaking with his doctor. They will give you some forms to be filled out about his behavior at home and his teachers will fill out about his behavior at school. He may request that his babysitter or coach also fill one out.

What you are describing sounds like a typical 7 year old acting out. Keep in mind todays children grow differently then our childhood and often express independent behavior far quicker. Boys more so then girls feel the need to act out as a means of showing his own Independence. The key is stopping the behavior.

The fact that he knows within a short amount of time that what he did was wrong, is a good thing. Children with behavior issues typically do not come to this conclusion in a short amount of time. When he says he is sorry, that is a opportune time to talk about what he was feeling when he acted out. Ask him what you should do about the behavior. Let him help set up the punishment if he is able. Often children will come up with a far worse punishment then you would.......talk about how it should be dealt with then go forth and deal with it.

Here are some links to these disorders so you can see if there is a real need to be tested. If not, you may still speak with his pediatrician about the issues you are having and ask for additional information.

What Is ADHD?

Support for parents of difficult to parent children. Conduct disorders ...

Disruptive Behaviours and conduct disorder

Walter, Consultant
Category: Parenting
Satisfied Customers: 11528
Experience: Mentoring Parents on Understanding and Accepting the Challenges of Parenthood.
Walter and 2 other Parenting Specialists are ready to help you

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